Hi everyone,
I just wanted to take a moment and post my most sincerest thanks and let you all know how much I appreciate the kind words of encouragement! I'm always a little apprehensive about talking about my health problems because I know there are people far worse off than I am-but at the same time this is a very easy way to keep everyone concerned as up to date as possible.
Again Thank You for all the support, thoughts and prayers. Life is never an easy journey as I'm finding out first hand right now. My spirits and resolve are high though and I'm not going to give up, nor am I going to take this sitting down. My efforts will continue to get my body in to shape, keep eating better, and gain as much knowledge about all of this as possible. As my private Clarinet teacher said in an email to me this morning, medical technology is going to change drastically over the next ten years. Most of my hopes are riding on that thought, that some day soon there will be much more information available about the conditions I have and maybe even a cure. I'm still going to continue to be realistic and keep my head level and take one day at a time, just in case a cure never does come along.
I love you all!
SO HERE'S MY LIFE
This morning's appointment was both productive and discouraging. I most likely have a condition called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis or PSC. PSC is a disease that goes hand in hand with my auto immune disorder and more specifically my Crohns and colitis. There is no known cause or cure for this condition. To sum up all the medical jargon: the bile ducts leading away from my liver are inflamed. They are inflamed because my immune system is attacking them for no reason whatsoever. The bile ducts will scar further which will cause my liver to gradually get more sick over time. This will eventually lead to complete liver failure. The doctor I saw today, who was awesome, gave me 10 years before I need to have a liver transplant. Not the greatest evalutation-especially at the age of 20. The good news is the survival rate with this condition is very high, and my doctor seemed very confident that I'm going to be okay. He layed out some tests that I need to under go within the next couple of weeks, and had a very positive outlook on my overall treatment. However, this is all a preliminary diagnosis at this point; there was a problem getting my records to his office. He is going to lock everything down and give me an over the phone evaluation within a week or two and we will go from there. I am going to continue fighting, I've made it this far and there is no reason I should give up now.
I have to admit keeping a positive attitude about all of this is very hard, but I'm trying to be a good boy. My Jessie was simply amazing today like she always is. I hate leaning on her so much, but my moments of weakness are almost impossible to avoid right now. I'm working on it though, very hard.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SICK! I'M A MUSIC EDUCATION MAJOR!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I have to admit keeping a positive attitude about all of this is very hard, but I'm trying to be a good boy. My Jessie was simply amazing today like she always is. I hate leaning on her so much, but my moments of weakness are almost impossible to avoid right now. I'm working on it though, very hard.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SICK! I'M A MUSIC EDUCATION MAJOR!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The Eve of a Big Day
Today is the eve of my big day tomorrow and I am admittedly a little scared. The news that I receive tomorrow will affect the rest of my life in many ways-even if the verdict is not liver transplant. If the answer is not liver transplant, my medications will again switch for the third time since I've been diagnosed with Crohns and Colitis- a transition that will more than likely be rough.
I've been proactive with my situation though, more so than I ever thought I would be. I've hit the gym just about every day for the past three weeks, I've changed my diet and cut down my caloric intake which has yielded a 10 pound loss in 2 weeks-something hard to achieve while taking steroids. Drinking tea, especially the rooibos, has helped a great deal too. Thanks to my dearest for getting me hooked on teas :)
It's amazing how exercising can drastically alter just about everything. It has given me more focus, more stamina throughout the day, a much more level head, helped keep my emotions and aggressiveness under control-another thing that is almost impossible under the influence of the prednisone. I'm attributing my hopefulness for tomorrow to several factors, one of them being the exercise and accomplishments I've been able to make in a short amount of time.
The most important and influential factor in my life and my outlook on tomorrow is my Jessie. She has been unbelievably wonderful, supportive, understanding and is just amazing in every single way. This past week, when I've had time to think or even when I'm zoning out in class I've been counting my blessing and being thankful for all the wonderful things in my life-a week early I know but it seems to fit right now. Jessica Rose Perham is the single best thing that has ever happened to me. She has taken me places and helped me through things I never thought would be possible. Complete change takes time, and having someone with such patience and kindness to calm my insides, and quite the noise in the back of my head is truely one of the greatest blessings in my life. She's the woman of my dreams and continues to amaze me ever single day I wake up and kiss her a good morning. I've never ever had someone stand next to me through anything outside of my family like she does. Someone who doesn't run away scared when I have my moments of anger or when I'm feeling weak. I've never had someone wrap her arms around me and tell me it's going to be okay-and I believe her. I trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life. We make each other stronger, we support each other in every single way. The amount of time and energy we put in to our relationship is enormous, but it's not without great reward. I seriously do not know nor want to think about where I would be or how I would be without having her in my life. Without her support, live, caring and sweetness I honestly believe that I would not be as well off as I am right now-all things considered. Once again Jessie, thank you so very very very very much from the bottom of my heart for being my rock, my voice of reason, and my angel. (Yes I know I typed LIVE out instead of LOVE. It's our in between word. we're past being in like with each other but still on the cusp of being in love with eachother so we compromised :) )
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I've been proactive with my situation though, more so than I ever thought I would be. I've hit the gym just about every day for the past three weeks, I've changed my diet and cut down my caloric intake which has yielded a 10 pound loss in 2 weeks-something hard to achieve while taking steroids. Drinking tea, especially the rooibos, has helped a great deal too. Thanks to my dearest for getting me hooked on teas :)
It's amazing how exercising can drastically alter just about everything. It has given me more focus, more stamina throughout the day, a much more level head, helped keep my emotions and aggressiveness under control-another thing that is almost impossible under the influence of the prednisone. I'm attributing my hopefulness for tomorrow to several factors, one of them being the exercise and accomplishments I've been able to make in a short amount of time.
The most important and influential factor in my life and my outlook on tomorrow is my Jessie. She has been unbelievably wonderful, supportive, understanding and is just amazing in every single way. This past week, when I've had time to think or even when I'm zoning out in class I've been counting my blessing and being thankful for all the wonderful things in my life-a week early I know but it seems to fit right now. Jessica Rose Perham is the single best thing that has ever happened to me. She has taken me places and helped me through things I never thought would be possible. Complete change takes time, and having someone with such patience and kindness to calm my insides, and quite the noise in the back of my head is truely one of the greatest blessings in my life. She's the woman of my dreams and continues to amaze me ever single day I wake up and kiss her a good morning. I've never ever had someone stand next to me through anything outside of my family like she does. Someone who doesn't run away scared when I have my moments of anger or when I'm feeling weak. I've never had someone wrap her arms around me and tell me it's going to be okay-and I believe her. I trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life. We make each other stronger, we support each other in every single way. The amount of time and energy we put in to our relationship is enormous, but it's not without great reward. I seriously do not know nor want to think about where I would be or how I would be without having her in my life. Without her support, live, caring and sweetness I honestly believe that I would not be as well off as I am right now-all things considered. Once again Jessie, thank you so very very very very much from the bottom of my heart for being my rock, my voice of reason, and my angel. (Yes I know I typed LIVE out instead of LOVE. It's our in between word. we're past being in like with each other but still on the cusp of being in love with eachother so we compromised :) )
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WEEK TWO DOWN, 14 MORE WEEKS TO GO
Today marks the second week on Prednisone and I'm feeling pretty good actually. Working out vigourously most days has helped a whole lot, along with having someone here who isn't afraid to stay with me and realizes that when I'm crabby or angry or upset it's not necessarily a natural response to a situation for me. The steroids are nasty, even with a low dose like I'm on now I have mood swings, periods of extreme depression and all kinds of other stuff that makes it really hard to stay emotionaly level. I finally have someone in my life, other than my parents, who understands this whole situation, has enough patience to sit with me and help me through this, and not abandon me. Of course I"m being proactive in recognizing these rough times, and talking to her about it, and doing things like working out and trying to keep my mind off of the whole situation-which is also helping. It really does feel go to not have to worry about being abandoned anymore, I feel safe here for sure. Jessica, you are amazing and truely one in a million. Thank you so very much for everything you've done for me. I have got Tomorrow marks the one week countdown to see the Liver Specialist and find out exactly what the flying hell is wrong with my liver, and hopefully it will be something easy like getting off this freaking medication.
I'm down just about 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I weigh myself every morning before breakfast and hit 187 this morning-down from 197 2 weeks when I weighed in at the doctors. I weigh myself periodically throughout the day as well and notice my weight swings at least 10 pounds upwards each day, which I find really strange. I thought weight loss and gain were a more gradual of processes, but apparently not. The elliptical is my friend for sure right now, it works your legs, glutes and core really hard which is also surprising to me. Once I get my weight down to 175 (hopefully another two weeks) I'm going to start a weight training regiment as well-which will help power through calories. I don't want to be ripped or like Governor Schwarzenegger or anything, but I could definantly enjoy having more physical strength because it will help with fatigue throughout the day.
The only class I'm having trouble in right now is Intro to Psych. With a teacher that told me straight to my face that she doesn't care about the class, but still expects me to give her 110% with my class work, makes it increadibly hard to focus or do anything productive for the class. I'm going to pass it though, I refuse to take it again.
Time to practice conducting.
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I'm down just about 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I weigh myself every morning before breakfast and hit 187 this morning-down from 197 2 weeks when I weighed in at the doctors. I weigh myself periodically throughout the day as well and notice my weight swings at least 10 pounds upwards each day, which I find really strange. I thought weight loss and gain were a more gradual of processes, but apparently not. The elliptical is my friend for sure right now, it works your legs, glutes and core really hard which is also surprising to me. Once I get my weight down to 175 (hopefully another two weeks) I'm going to start a weight training regiment as well-which will help power through calories. I don't want to be ripped or like Governor Schwarzenegger or anything, but I could definantly enjoy having more physical strength because it will help with fatigue throughout the day.
The only class I'm having trouble in right now is Intro to Psych. With a teacher that told me straight to my face that she doesn't care about the class, but still expects me to give her 110% with my class work, makes it increadibly hard to focus or do anything productive for the class. I'm going to pass it though, I refuse to take it again.
Time to practice conducting.
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Another Week Down
It's been another long week, and as Jessie snoozes on the couch next to me I can honestly say Thank GOD it's Friday. This week was by no means any more difficult than usual, it just seemed to take forever. Things continue as per last update. I'm still taking prednisone, still watching what I eat, still hanging in there. I have an appointment with another doctor on the 21st of November and have received all the paper work I need to fill out and send back before my appointment. This Thursday I need to go get blood work done. Papers due, tests coming out of my ears, performances and juries, AHHH! So much to do, as I'm sure everyone else has as well.
Crashing at the girlfriend's parents house tonight and tomorrow we have the president's inaguration at my college. Then work Sunday, and back in to the school week. I seriously can't wait until I'm out in the real world and acutally have a Saturday and Sunday where I'm not working. Of course who knows if that will indeed happen when I'm out on my own, but I can hope-right?
This morning I worked through my first serious cardio workout in a long time. It felt good to actually be burning fat/calories but at the same time made me feel shak and sick. It will get better as I continue to stick to this routine, and having J come with three days a week along with the walks dearest and I take is helping keeping me motivated. I'm monitoring my caloric intake with an online journal and just really watching what I take in, although some days I'm a better boy than others. It's time, I've let my health slide for too long, used my condition as a crutch and an excuse for too long. It's time to get my butt in gear for my sake, and for Jessie's sake.
A cold night in is feeling sooo good. I'm actually going to try and get some homeowrk done while we sit and relax, with no pressure to actually get it done-I just want to get something done at all before dinner and a moive with Sweet Pea. Psychology Paper, HERE I COME!
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Crashing at the girlfriend's parents house tonight and tomorrow we have the president's inaguration at my college. Then work Sunday, and back in to the school week. I seriously can't wait until I'm out in the real world and acutally have a Saturday and Sunday where I'm not working. Of course who knows if that will indeed happen when I'm out on my own, but I can hope-right?
This morning I worked through my first serious cardio workout in a long time. It felt good to actually be burning fat/calories but at the same time made me feel shak and sick. It will get better as I continue to stick to this routine, and having J come with three days a week along with the walks dearest and I take is helping keeping me motivated. I'm monitoring my caloric intake with an online journal and just really watching what I take in, although some days I'm a better boy than others. It's time, I've let my health slide for too long, used my condition as a crutch and an excuse for too long. It's time to get my butt in gear for my sake, and for Jessie's sake.
A cold night in is feeling sooo good. I'm actually going to try and get some homeowrk done while we sit and relax, with no pressure to actually get it done-I just want to get something done at all before dinner and a moive with Sweet Pea. Psychology Paper, HERE I COME!
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My Thoughts on the Presidential Election 2008
First off, as always, these are my opinions. I own them and own up to them 100% without question. That being said this is NOT a personal attack on anyone or anyone's beliefs-these are mine please be respectful as I will towards your beliefs.
Last night was a huge moment in history without question. We witnessed the first presidential election that was multi-racial beyond the usual melting pot of American society. This is a GOOD thing. One of the things so far that has pissed me off are black people saying that Obama is not "black enough." Are you people all serious? Really? First off I refuse to accept all this whining and crying over the segregation and inequality in this country when YOU yourselves are providing the basis for it. Just because he more than Black does not disqualify him. I almost fell off my chair last night talking with one of my friends who, she herself, is not 100% black. When she told me she hated Obama because he is "not black enough" I seriously could not bring myself to talk to her very much if at all in fear of snapping and losing my temper. You people need to stop with all this stuff. Seriously.
Secondly. Anyone, Republican or not, that can sit and honestly think and say the Republican regime in this country has done us any good should do some more research and open their minds. We are in a financial crisis, a war over a substance that is quickly losing it's value all over the globe, and acts and policies that make American life harder for the average middle class worker. The Republican party has no concept of what it means to be middle class, and that is evident with the price of oil, the taxes placed on people that make less than half a million dollars a year, and countless other things that have made life for MY blue collar middle clas family extremely hard and nerve racking. McCain doesn't even know how many houses he owns, and you wanted HIM to be your president?
Thirdly he picked a woman, who is the Governor of a State where nothing ever happens. Just because you can see Russia from the shores of the State does NOT qualify you for the whitehouse. The woman had never set foot in Washington D.C. that I could find. At least Obama has been in the Senate working IN Washington and getting the real experience. Is he qualified for the position? In my opinion no, he has not been in the game long enough-but that is exactly why he picked Joe Biden. Joe Biden gets the middle class as far as I'm concerned.
Lets take a look at congress for a second. Just about every single incumbant was voted out of his/her seat without much contest. What does that tell you? It tells me personally that the Republican regime has failed out country miserably and people (including long standing republicans) are sick and tired of the consistant downward spiral we've been in for the past 8 years.
Is Obama the answer? I'm still undecided on that. Do I think he will do some good? YES. People are so afraid of change, even when things are bad, that anything new freaks them out. We all need to stand together as a country, embrace this historic day in our nations history, and have faith and give support to our new President and congressional members. They all have a huge mess to clean up and many many fires to put out.
Instead of pointing fingers, getting in to fights with each other, crying and screaming and running for another country: stop and give him a chance. please. It's the right time for this country to get back on it's feet-and I have every confidence in President Obama that he will at least give his very best effort to make the changes we need happen.
Last night was a huge moment in history without question. We witnessed the first presidential election that was multi-racial beyond the usual melting pot of American society. This is a GOOD thing. One of the things so far that has pissed me off are black people saying that Obama is not "black enough." Are you people all serious? Really? First off I refuse to accept all this whining and crying over the segregation and inequality in this country when YOU yourselves are providing the basis for it. Just because he more than Black does not disqualify him. I almost fell off my chair last night talking with one of my friends who, she herself, is not 100% black. When she told me she hated Obama because he is "not black enough" I seriously could not bring myself to talk to her very much if at all in fear of snapping and losing my temper. You people need to stop with all this stuff. Seriously.
Secondly. Anyone, Republican or not, that can sit and honestly think and say the Republican regime in this country has done us any good should do some more research and open their minds. We are in a financial crisis, a war over a substance that is quickly losing it's value all over the globe, and acts and policies that make American life harder for the average middle class worker. The Republican party has no concept of what it means to be middle class, and that is evident with the price of oil, the taxes placed on people that make less than half a million dollars a year, and countless other things that have made life for MY blue collar middle clas family extremely hard and nerve racking. McCain doesn't even know how many houses he owns, and you wanted HIM to be your president?
Thirdly he picked a woman, who is the Governor of a State where nothing ever happens. Just because you can see Russia from the shores of the State does NOT qualify you for the whitehouse. The woman had never set foot in Washington D.C. that I could find. At least Obama has been in the Senate working IN Washington and getting the real experience. Is he qualified for the position? In my opinion no, he has not been in the game long enough-but that is exactly why he picked Joe Biden. Joe Biden gets the middle class as far as I'm concerned.
Lets take a look at congress for a second. Just about every single incumbant was voted out of his/her seat without much contest. What does that tell you? It tells me personally that the Republican regime has failed out country miserably and people (including long standing republicans) are sick and tired of the consistant downward spiral we've been in for the past 8 years.
Is Obama the answer? I'm still undecided on that. Do I think he will do some good? YES. People are so afraid of change, even when things are bad, that anything new freaks them out. We all need to stand together as a country, embrace this historic day in our nations history, and have faith and give support to our new President and congressional members. They all have a huge mess to clean up and many many fires to put out.
Instead of pointing fingers, getting in to fights with each other, crying and screaming and running for another country: stop and give him a chance. please. It's the right time for this country to get back on it's feet-and I have every confidence in President Obama that he will at least give his very best effort to make the changes we need happen.
Another Post
"Life sucks, it's hard. If it were easy then anyone could do it and be successful. The same can be said about college, it's tough and set up to weed out the people that can't make the cut. So you have to decide for yourself which kind of person are you? Are you the kind that just gets up and quits because it's too hard? Or are you the kind that will sit down and figure everything out and make it? I think you're the kind that is going to make it, you haven't shown me any reason to believe otherwise." -My Dad
Right now more than ever, my Father's words keep ringing in my head. I am officially not on a good road with my health. 1/3 of it is my own fault, 1/3 of it is most likely due to the medication I have been on for a year now, and 1/3 of it is most likely another chronic condition that has no cure. There is a treatment for it, put me on steroids for four months, which is not any fun in itself. I have to go see a second liver specialist and most likely will be changing my meds as well as work out every day to get the fat off my liver. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the healthiest person in the world, but I look around and see people eating like I do or worse and without problem and forget that I'm not like everyone else. I'm sick and have to do things differently then normal people. A fact that even three years in to all this I am having a hard time accepting and getting used to.
The steroids suck, a lot. I am constantly starving, which I can only ignore so much; My sex drive has increased like none other, my hair grows three times as fast, my muscles are tense all the time and spasm on me for no reason, I have nights were I can't fall asleep and days after where I can function normally on 2-3 hours of sleep. Then I have nights like last night where I had a slightly hard time falling asleep and woke up this morning completely exhausted. I go through periods of irritability and aggression, extreme depression, extreme happiness, and docility literally from one minute to the next sometimes. Then other times I'm stable and feel like I'm in control and can handle this. It's going to be a long and tiresome four months, but something is different this time. It's because I know what I'm dealing with, what to look for and watch out for, how to handle myself (when possible) and I have someone to help me through this who has been amazing so far :) Thank you Jessie from the bottom of my heart!
I bought a new MP3 player, a ZUNE, and it arrives today. I am so excited! I'll be able to start working out too, I would have started sooner but you can't work out without tunes.
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Right now more than ever, my Father's words keep ringing in my head. I am officially not on a good road with my health. 1/3 of it is my own fault, 1/3 of it is most likely due to the medication I have been on for a year now, and 1/3 of it is most likely another chronic condition that has no cure. There is a treatment for it, put me on steroids for four months, which is not any fun in itself. I have to go see a second liver specialist and most likely will be changing my meds as well as work out every day to get the fat off my liver. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the healthiest person in the world, but I look around and see people eating like I do or worse and without problem and forget that I'm not like everyone else. I'm sick and have to do things differently then normal people. A fact that even three years in to all this I am having a hard time accepting and getting used to.
The steroids suck, a lot. I am constantly starving, which I can only ignore so much; My sex drive has increased like none other, my hair grows three times as fast, my muscles are tense all the time and spasm on me for no reason, I have nights were I can't fall asleep and days after where I can function normally on 2-3 hours of sleep. Then I have nights like last night where I had a slightly hard time falling asleep and woke up this morning completely exhausted. I go through periods of irritability and aggression, extreme depression, extreme happiness, and docility literally from one minute to the next sometimes. Then other times I'm stable and feel like I'm in control and can handle this. It's going to be a long and tiresome four months, but something is different this time. It's because I know what I'm dealing with, what to look for and watch out for, how to handle myself (when possible) and I have someone to help me through this who has been amazing so far :) Thank you Jessie from the bottom of my heart!
I bought a new MP3 player, a ZUNE, and it arrives today. I am so excited! I'll be able to start working out too, I would have started sooner but you can't work out without tunes.
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Can't sleep blues
Well seeing as how it's a concert weekend, my dearest is hogging the bed, and I can't sleep I figure I'll update this now as I won't have the chance later on.
I somehow manage to keep pulling grades out of my ass. Don't ask me how it's happening, it just is-I've become even more lazy as the semester has gone on but somehow manage to keep getting A's and B's on stuff. For example, the transposition test in conducting (which i did study somewhat for) I pulled a B on. HOW? I have no idea, I left the classroom thinking "sweet Jesus God I failed that thing" and fully thinking taking conducting 1 over again was going to have to be put in to my plans for next year. I've failed only one thing so far in the class, granted it counted for 40 percent of our grade-but still I think I'm for sure in B territory.
Thursday morning I walked in to Psychology class after missing Tuesday morning for band tour and totally forgetting to email my professor or anything. We had a test which I got through by the seat of my pants using logical choices for the multiple choice. I'm willing to bet I got at least a C on it. That sound cocky but it's not meant that way. I'm basing this prediction on the string of luck I seem to currently be on. Vegas anyone?
I'm so glad that I'm getting closer to the people around this campus, and have managed to find those that are true friends and worth getting to know. I've never honestly let my guard down like this and tried being myself around anyone before, and so far it seems like things are good :) It definantly makes eating meals more enjoyable, and not so lonely. Jessie has been a HUGE help and influence at getting me to relax and calm the hell down, and just helps make things easier in general (except when you're being a pain in the ass :P )
I've got a slightly elaborate and romantic afternoon/evening planned for my dearest later on and I'm so excited! It's nothing huge and I'll post more details later (I don't want her reading this and having the surprise be ruined) I really hope she enjoys it though :/
The alleged hate crime that happened two weeks ago now has left such a bad taste in my mouth. Not directed at the Muslim people, or anything like that. But directed at the immaturity and stupidity of people and society. I have no idea what she was aiming to achieve with her actions but the end result was several steps backwards towards a tolerant and respectful place for anyone to go to school. She's facing some jail time after a court hearing, and I honestly hope either the court rules that she didn't make it up and she is not punished wrongfully or if she really did make it up then she should get some kind of reprimand. Jail at 19 years of age makes my heart drop and my stomach hurt, just thinking if I were in her position-but she needs to be held accountable in some way. What she did to us, her "friends" her "community" her college was so wrong and disgusting it's going to take a long time for me to feel comfortable again, or even be able to put out of my mind how utterly terrified Jessie was and how worried I've been for all the females on this campus not to mention my own safety. Things like this break my heart, because it seems like it's just getting worse as the days go on and there is an increasing lack of things we can do to change hate and lack of respect in our community.
I apologize if none of this makes sense, I'm doing my best for 1:50am
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I somehow manage to keep pulling grades out of my ass. Don't ask me how it's happening, it just is-I've become even more lazy as the semester has gone on but somehow manage to keep getting A's and B's on stuff. For example, the transposition test in conducting (which i did study somewhat for) I pulled a B on. HOW? I have no idea, I left the classroom thinking "sweet Jesus God I failed that thing" and fully thinking taking conducting 1 over again was going to have to be put in to my plans for next year. I've failed only one thing so far in the class, granted it counted for 40 percent of our grade-but still I think I'm for sure in B territory.
Thursday morning I walked in to Psychology class after missing Tuesday morning for band tour and totally forgetting to email my professor or anything. We had a test which I got through by the seat of my pants using logical choices for the multiple choice. I'm willing to bet I got at least a C on it. That sound cocky but it's not meant that way. I'm basing this prediction on the string of luck I seem to currently be on. Vegas anyone?
I'm so glad that I'm getting closer to the people around this campus, and have managed to find those that are true friends and worth getting to know. I've never honestly let my guard down like this and tried being myself around anyone before, and so far it seems like things are good :) It definantly makes eating meals more enjoyable, and not so lonely. Jessie has been a HUGE help and influence at getting me to relax and calm the hell down, and just helps make things easier in general (except when you're being a pain in the ass :P )
I've got a slightly elaborate and romantic afternoon/evening planned for my dearest later on and I'm so excited! It's nothing huge and I'll post more details later (I don't want her reading this and having the surprise be ruined) I really hope she enjoys it though :/
The alleged hate crime that happened two weeks ago now has left such a bad taste in my mouth. Not directed at the Muslim people, or anything like that. But directed at the immaturity and stupidity of people and society. I have no idea what she was aiming to achieve with her actions but the end result was several steps backwards towards a tolerant and respectful place for anyone to go to school. She's facing some jail time after a court hearing, and I honestly hope either the court rules that she didn't make it up and she is not punished wrongfully or if she really did make it up then she should get some kind of reprimand. Jail at 19 years of age makes my heart drop and my stomach hurt, just thinking if I were in her position-but she needs to be held accountable in some way. What she did to us, her "friends" her "community" her college was so wrong and disgusting it's going to take a long time for me to feel comfortable again, or even be able to put out of my mind how utterly terrified Jessie was and how worried I've been for all the females on this campus not to mention my own safety. Things like this break my heart, because it seems like it's just getting worse as the days go on and there is an increasing lack of things we can do to change hate and lack of respect in our community.
I apologize if none of this makes sense, I'm doing my best for 1:50am
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Weekly Update
The weeks seem like they are getting shorter and shorter with more and more to do. Ti's the season I guess, the season of AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then a little Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday thrown in. We're already getting our schedules for next semester in order-I have a really nice registration time this go around though :)
It looks like Jessie and I will be able to take a class together! Which is going to be great just like everything else. We can work on the homework together and won't be terribly bored in class either :D! I'm looking forward to that and everything else life has in store for us.
Apparently the hate crime that happened last week was fake? The police, college and other authorities say it was; right now I'm just not sure what to believe. I mean no disrespect to anyone with posting this. This is seriously just some thoughts I've had. I want to be behind the girl because she's a fellow EC student of mine and a good friend of my lovely; at the same time though some things just don't add up. After hearing about this yesterday afternoon several questions came up in my head. The first going back to the first incident with the writing in her locker. There has been no mention that her lock was indeed cut, at least none that I can find. In order to break in to these lockers you would need a pair of bolt cutters, which are by no means pocket sized, or even backpack sized for that matter. Someone would have seen this mystery person breaking in to the locker, wielding a pair of these monsters:
It looks like Jessie and I will be able to take a class together! Which is going to be great just like everything else. We can work on the homework together and won't be terribly bored in class either :D! I'm looking forward to that and everything else life has in store for us.
Apparently the hate crime that happened last week was fake? The police, college and other authorities say it was; right now I'm just not sure what to believe. I mean no disrespect to anyone with posting this. This is seriously just some thoughts I've had. I want to be behind the girl because she's a fellow EC student of mine and a good friend of my lovely; at the same time though some things just don't add up. After hearing about this yesterday afternoon several questions came up in my head. The first going back to the first incident with the writing in her locker. There has been no mention that her lock was indeed cut, at least none that I can find. In order to break in to these lockers you would need a pair of bolt cutters, which are by no means pocket sized, or even backpack sized for that matter. Someone would have seen this mystery person breaking in to the locker, wielding a pair of these monsters:
Even if he was smart enough to find a battery operated unit:
These things still make a hell of a lot of noise when the cutter finally chews it's way through the hardened steel lock. Either means of operation cause a whole lot of noise, and in a busy student center and her locker being off a high traffic area someone somehow had to have heard it. With a campus of 3,300 students, many of which spend some time in the Frick center or walking through the Frick center, how could no one have seen anything? If there are witnesses and they are keeping their mouths shut, they should be arrested by Elmhurst Police too!
The second thing I have to wonder is with the rally going on in Schiable, in the basement where the now alleged attack happened, on a Thursday night when there are night classes going on, how did no one see a guy coming out of a girl's bathroom or not hear her fight with him? How the hell did he know she was going to use that bathroom at the exact time she walked in? As far as my bladder is concerned I have no regimented schedule for bathroom time. It all depends on how much you eat and drink over the course of the day and what you eat and drink. There is no way anyone can get a person's bathroom habbits down 100%.
My final question is how did she get a TEXT MESSAGE out to one of her friends before passing out? If he hit her hard enough with the gun to knock her out, I'm no MD but I'm pretty sure there is a few seconds of wooziness and then your out. It's not instant, but it takes much longer than 3 or 4 seconds to typ in a text message and send it. Going by my own experiences with being knocked unconcious it takes a lot less time than she would need to send it. There's also the issue of cell phone reception in the basement of that building. I've tried texting Jessie a whole bunch of times while she was in class down there and her reception bounces in and out, most of the time it's out. My Tues Thurs class down there gives me very little reception if any, and I get reception just about everywhere. Even in the dead zone in the office I work in I still get reception.
Now let me say again, I mean no disrespect to anyone with writing this. I really want to believe her and be behind her as her friend and peer, but at the same time the missing pieces are making me hesitate. My heart and prayers go out to her and her family, hoping and praying we get to the bottom of this. That she has not permanantley marked her record, that the alleged coward comes forward and takes the heat for his actions, that everyone can walk around our campus and the beautiful city of Elmhurst without having to worry too much. I absolutley love walking around down town Elmhurst and seeing families with little kids running around the chipotle square screaming and doing what kids do best-expelling energy with the parents keeping an eye out but not having to wonder "is that guy or girl going to hurt my kid?" or even at the park across the street. Jessie and I often walk through the park going and coming from our town runs and seeing kids running around and having fun gives me the biggest smile. I never had that freedom when I was little living in this grotesque city. My parents had to teather themselves to me and my brother when we would go downtown or even walking to the park. Once we were there, we had boundaries, we had to stay close just in case. Granted no place is ever 100% safe, we've got another clown molestor running across the city right now for crying out loud. But the City of Elmhurst prides itself on it's small town atmospher and it's safe living, and it's something I admire. Even with the Virginia Tech and Northern tragedys, most of myself still felt very safe walking around our campus.
I'm still going to walk with Jessie and anyone else for that matter that wants to be escorted at night. I would not be able to sit right with myself otherwise. We still need to keep each other safe, especially if this terrible incident was and is real. There could still be some Nazi lowlife running around our campus with a hand gun, and that scares the living hell out of me. I still very much want to keep my friends and my darling safe, and I still very much want someone to be held accountable and strung up if he did infact do this. I'm still angry at all the senseless hate in the world both close to home and far away, I'm just saying this recent turn of events has made me stop and think.
Lets keep our eyes open, our heads straight and get to the bottom of this. PLEASE continue to support our peer in this time, she needs all of our spirits right now-believe me the thoughts and prayers of a large body of people can do wonders. My brother and I are living proof of it.
These things still make a hell of a lot of noise when the cutter finally chews it's way through the hardened steel lock. Either means of operation cause a whole lot of noise, and in a busy student center and her locker being off a high traffic area someone somehow had to have heard it. With a campus of 3,300 students, many of which spend some time in the Frick center or walking through the Frick center, how could no one have seen anything? If there are witnesses and they are keeping their mouths shut, they should be arrested by Elmhurst Police too!The second thing I have to wonder is with the rally going on in Schiable, in the basement where the now alleged attack happened, on a Thursday night when there are night classes going on, how did no one see a guy coming out of a girl's bathroom or not hear her fight with him? How the hell did he know she was going to use that bathroom at the exact time she walked in? As far as my bladder is concerned I have no regimented schedule for bathroom time. It all depends on how much you eat and drink over the course of the day and what you eat and drink. There is no way anyone can get a person's bathroom habbits down 100%.
My final question is how did she get a TEXT MESSAGE out to one of her friends before passing out? If he hit her hard enough with the gun to knock her out, I'm no MD but I'm pretty sure there is a few seconds of wooziness and then your out. It's not instant, but it takes much longer than 3 or 4 seconds to typ in a text message and send it. Going by my own experiences with being knocked unconcious it takes a lot less time than she would need to send it. There's also the issue of cell phone reception in the basement of that building. I've tried texting Jessie a whole bunch of times while she was in class down there and her reception bounces in and out, most of the time it's out. My Tues Thurs class down there gives me very little reception if any, and I get reception just about everywhere. Even in the dead zone in the office I work in I still get reception.
Now let me say again, I mean no disrespect to anyone with writing this. I really want to believe her and be behind her as her friend and peer, but at the same time the missing pieces are making me hesitate. My heart and prayers go out to her and her family, hoping and praying we get to the bottom of this. That she has not permanantley marked her record, that the alleged coward comes forward and takes the heat for his actions, that everyone can walk around our campus and the beautiful city of Elmhurst without having to worry too much. I absolutley love walking around down town Elmhurst and seeing families with little kids running around the chipotle square screaming and doing what kids do best-expelling energy with the parents keeping an eye out but not having to wonder "is that guy or girl going to hurt my kid?" or even at the park across the street. Jessie and I often walk through the park going and coming from our town runs and seeing kids running around and having fun gives me the biggest smile. I never had that freedom when I was little living in this grotesque city. My parents had to teather themselves to me and my brother when we would go downtown or even walking to the park. Once we were there, we had boundaries, we had to stay close just in case. Granted no place is ever 100% safe, we've got another clown molestor running across the city right now for crying out loud. But the City of Elmhurst prides itself on it's small town atmospher and it's safe living, and it's something I admire. Even with the Virginia Tech and Northern tragedys, most of myself still felt very safe walking around our campus.
I'm still going to walk with Jessie and anyone else for that matter that wants to be escorted at night. I would not be able to sit right with myself otherwise. We still need to keep each other safe, especially if this terrible incident was and is real. There could still be some Nazi lowlife running around our campus with a hand gun, and that scares the living hell out of me. I still very much want to keep my friends and my darling safe, and I still very much want someone to be held accountable and strung up if he did infact do this. I'm still angry at all the senseless hate in the world both close to home and far away, I'm just saying this recent turn of events has made me stop and think.
Lets keep our eyes open, our heads straight and get to the bottom of this. PLEASE continue to support our peer in this time, she needs all of our spirits right now-believe me the thoughts and prayers of a large body of people can do wonders. My brother and I are living proof of it.
Your religion is not to be used this way
I've held my tongue long enough about this and I tried to let it go but I just can't. And instead of getting in to someone's face and screaming like I usually would-I'm choosing this passive aggressive way to let said person know how I feel.
First off, we know you're Jewish. We get it. Thank you. There is nothing wrong with being Jewish, it's your life and your faith plain and simple. This is NOT an attack on your faith in any way.
Take the "jewjewjewjewjew" OFF your Facebook. Again, we know your Jewish, we don't need it thrown in our faces. No one else is throwing their Christianity at you, so TAKE IT DOWN. One word there is all we need. "Jewish" would be nice, instead of a stereotype. Your screen name fits this category too.
Using your religion as a means to get revenge at a group of girls who gave you plenty of opportunity to make it in to their organization is not only petty but immature, irrational, stupid and disgusting. The rules say you have to come to the the rush events to get in. Not only that but you have to show you can be professional, social and a positive part of the Fraternity to get in. You don't just automatically get in because you're good friends with many of the members, life does not get handed to you on a silver platter. This shows me that you are a selfish and spoiled little person, who does not deserve to get in to anything around here.
Furthermore, to go to an executive of the college and claim you are a victim of a hate crime because you're throwing a temper tantrum is wrong and immature as well-and there really is no place for that here. We have enough problems with REAL hate crimes and violence now and we don't need your petty crap on top of it. Act like you are a sophmore in college, not in high school thank you very much.
Also, to expect people to be buddy buddy and nice to you when you are on the brink of putting a large black mark on their college careers and lives is disgustingly stupid. And to expect people not directly involved who are good friends and loyal to the people you are messing with to be helpful and friendly to you is irrational and ridiculous.
It also tickles me to hear you pulled this stunt because not only do you have "jewjewjew" pasted on your Facebook, but you also have moderately racial things on picture comments and quotes on your book as well. Look up the definiton of hypocrite and take a look in the mirror.
Finally I gave the binder back to her, I don't have it anymore because I don't need it anymore. If you want it go ask her for it and stop bothering me. I have no time or energy for this kind of thing anymore. You stay away from me, I make my life hard enough on my own.
Thanks!
First off, we know you're Jewish. We get it. Thank you. There is nothing wrong with being Jewish, it's your life and your faith plain and simple. This is NOT an attack on your faith in any way.
Take the "jewjewjewjewjew" OFF your Facebook. Again, we know your Jewish, we don't need it thrown in our faces. No one else is throwing their Christianity at you, so TAKE IT DOWN. One word there is all we need. "Jewish" would be nice, instead of a stereotype. Your screen name fits this category too.
Using your religion as a means to get revenge at a group of girls who gave you plenty of opportunity to make it in to their organization is not only petty but immature, irrational, stupid and disgusting. The rules say you have to come to the the rush events to get in. Not only that but you have to show you can be professional, social and a positive part of the Fraternity to get in. You don't just automatically get in because you're good friends with many of the members, life does not get handed to you on a silver platter. This shows me that you are a selfish and spoiled little person, who does not deserve to get in to anything around here.
Furthermore, to go to an executive of the college and claim you are a victim of a hate crime because you're throwing a temper tantrum is wrong and immature as well-and there really is no place for that here. We have enough problems with REAL hate crimes and violence now and we don't need your petty crap on top of it. Act like you are a sophmore in college, not in high school thank you very much.
Also, to expect people to be buddy buddy and nice to you when you are on the brink of putting a large black mark on their college careers and lives is disgustingly stupid. And to expect people not directly involved who are good friends and loyal to the people you are messing with to be helpful and friendly to you is irrational and ridiculous.
It also tickles me to hear you pulled this stunt because not only do you have "jewjewjew" pasted on your Facebook, but you also have moderately racial things on picture comments and quotes on your book as well. Look up the definiton of hypocrite and take a look in the mirror.
Finally I gave the binder back to her, I don't have it anymore because I don't need it anymore. If you want it go ask her for it and stop bothering me. I have no time or energy for this kind of thing anymore. You stay away from me, I make my life hard enough on my own.
Thanks!
Coexist people, seriously.
The recent hate crimes this past week on campus, and now the cowardice and violent attack last night has brought on, to me and I'm sure most of my peers, a whole new level of disappointment and anger. There is absolutely NO REASON to discriminate, hate or attack another group of people because of the color of their skin, what they wear on their head or their religious beliefs. Whats more, the population around the world is only going to get more integrated whether we like it or not, whether we fight it or not. Things are segregated now because all these different "groups" of people chose to be. Either out of fear, their own hatred, or just because things have been set a certain way for a long period of time. And as far as blaming the entire Muslim world community for the actions of a violent and adolecent faction, seriously? Are we not living in 2008? It was a small part of the whole that attacked this country, a small group of the whole who brought on the devistation. It was certainly and UNDENIABLY NOT the Muslim students here at Elmhurst College, most of which if not all have been born and raised IN AMERICA and many very close to the city of ELMHURST.
College is all about making yourself better, opening your mind and soul to new ideas, new surroundings, new ways of life. Whomever goes to college just because their parents say so, or simply to get a degree should do us all a favor and drop out now. Go get a job at Wendy's or McDonalds-I'm going to need someone to flip my burgers for me. I say that because with this kind of metality that's about all you'll be good for. You have no place in the higher education realm, and no place in the upper areas of life for that matter. You don't deserve to be awarded a degree, even if you are paying through the nose to get it. Oh wait, that's right, Mommy and Daddy take care of everything don't they?
This is America. Plainly and simply, America is a place FOR diversity, where each and every person regardless race, religion, or anything else for that matter has the same equal rights and privledges as the next. Embrace the change, the integratoin. It's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Every citizen of this country has just as much right to be here as you, just as much right to a college education, a good job, a family, retirement-all of it.
How cowardice is it to hide in a female bathroom with a ski mask on and point a loaded gun at an innocent and unsuspecting girl? Then to run and hide? What have you solved? What have you accomplished? You've got an ENTIRE CAMPUS of over 3,000 PEOPLE angry, dissapointed and fearful. GO YOU! You're the man now huh? The only accomplishment I can see from you're immature, stupid, arrogant, ingnorant, disgusting, petty, and COWARDICE action is now you have 3,300 people standing up together. This morning already, via facebook of course, this campus community is banding together, becoming stronger people through each other. If I were you I would stay hidden, or better yet TURN YOURSELF IN. If you are any kind of man with any honor or integrity you A) would not have done this in the first place and B) would come forward and claim your action and the repercussions that follow.
College is all about making yourself better, opening your mind and soul to new ideas, new surroundings, new ways of life. Whomever goes to college just because their parents say so, or simply to get a degree should do us all a favor and drop out now. Go get a job at Wendy's or McDonalds-I'm going to need someone to flip my burgers for me. I say that because with this kind of metality that's about all you'll be good for. You have no place in the higher education realm, and no place in the upper areas of life for that matter. You don't deserve to be awarded a degree, even if you are paying through the nose to get it. Oh wait, that's right, Mommy and Daddy take care of everything don't they?
This is America. Plainly and simply, America is a place FOR diversity, where each and every person regardless race, religion, or anything else for that matter has the same equal rights and privledges as the next. Embrace the change, the integratoin. It's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Every citizen of this country has just as much right to be here as you, just as much right to a college education, a good job, a family, retirement-all of it.
How cowardice is it to hide in a female bathroom with a ski mask on and point a loaded gun at an innocent and unsuspecting girl? Then to run and hide? What have you solved? What have you accomplished? You've got an ENTIRE CAMPUS of over 3,000 PEOPLE angry, dissapointed and fearful. GO YOU! You're the man now huh? The only accomplishment I can see from you're immature, stupid, arrogant, ingnorant, disgusting, petty, and COWARDICE action is now you have 3,300 people standing up together. This morning already, via facebook of course, this campus community is banding together, becoming stronger people through each other. If I were you I would stay hidden, or better yet TURN YOURSELF IN. If you are any kind of man with any honor or integrity you A) would not have done this in the first place and B) would come forward and claim your action and the repercussions that follow.
Weekly Update Belayed
It has been one hell of a week and weekend for that matter. I found out last night my Godmother has come down with a mild heart disease and is slowly going to waste away on me. I feel slightly guilty for not wanting to go over there over the summer like I should have, but I'm going to make an attempt to head over there as much as possible-especially now. I don't want to be crying at her funeral because I was an asshole and neglected to visit. I'm going to make the time, regardless of what is going on at school. I've found that the work load is not as hard as I have previously thought as long as I use my shifts at my job to get ahead in whatever I can. It's especially a good time for the music history encounter.
I bombed my conducting musical terms test, which is 40% of the overall grade for the semester. I'm not too worried though after talking to Judy, I can still pass conducting I with a B as long as I do everything perfect from here on out. I've been practicing conducting every day after I'm done practicing my clarinet and it seems to be helping out. I really don't want to have to ever take a class over, I have never had to take a class over in my entire academic career and I don't want to start doing it again.
On a lighter note, I've decided for sure that a cold air intake is going on my ride. It will give her a more aggressive sound, even though she already sounds mean now. She's at 158hp, which is not bad for a 4 cylinder, but still not as quick off the line as I would like. It'll boost her to 168hp and with a few more mods like wrapping the manifold and down pipe and maybe changing the muffler she should be at 200hp or just under-which should give her the boost I'm looking for. Once I get her up to about 60, mashing down on the pedal is amazing. You get pushed back in to the seat and she's responsive and seems to enjoy it herself. This modification will most likely happen at the start of summer, as I have to save up for it. 400 dollars is most likely what it's going to cost me, and with the coming of the winter and wet season I don't want to have to worry about changing the intake around after having the new one on for only a short time. Even with a splash guard, the air filter can get wet and I just don't want to have to deal with it right now. Not to mention I have to take her in to get rustproofed still, and I'm not sure how much that is going to cost yet......
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I bombed my conducting musical terms test, which is 40% of the overall grade for the semester. I'm not too worried though after talking to Judy, I can still pass conducting I with a B as long as I do everything perfect from here on out. I've been practicing conducting every day after I'm done practicing my clarinet and it seems to be helping out. I really don't want to have to ever take a class over, I have never had to take a class over in my entire academic career and I don't want to start doing it again.
On a lighter note, I've decided for sure that a cold air intake is going on my ride. It will give her a more aggressive sound, even though she already sounds mean now. She's at 158hp, which is not bad for a 4 cylinder, but still not as quick off the line as I would like. It'll boost her to 168hp and with a few more mods like wrapping the manifold and down pipe and maybe changing the muffler she should be at 200hp or just under-which should give her the boost I'm looking for. Once I get her up to about 60, mashing down on the pedal is amazing. You get pushed back in to the seat and she's responsive and seems to enjoy it herself. This modification will most likely happen at the start of summer, as I have to save up for it. 400 dollars is most likely what it's going to cost me, and with the coming of the winter and wet season I don't want to have to worry about changing the intake around after having the new one on for only a short time. Even with a splash guard, the air filter can get wet and I just don't want to have to deal with it right now. Not to mention I have to take her in to get rustproofed still, and I'm not sure how much that is going to cost yet......
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Weekly Update
Well another week down, 5 more to go. This semester is flying by so fast I can hardly keep track of what day it is. Things continue to go smoothly, and I'm pretty much keeping up with all of my classes. I love my Clarinet and I can tell I'm making strides to improving myself on it. Sometimes, like two weeks ago, I feel like my fingers think I'm not meant to play it though. They get all twisted in to knots and just will not cooperate.
I've got a nasty sinus infection and have had it for a while. I finally went to the wellness center and I'm on 6 days of a 750mg anti-biotic. It seems to be working, although this is only day three, I already feel much better and can actually smell things again. Hopefully by day six it will be totally gone and I'll have my sinuses back to normal.
To Jessie:
I know I've said this a billion times already but I need to do it again. Thank you for always being there for me, no matter what. When I'm sick as a dog and throwing up and crabby, when I'm sad because I was ditched by someone I was looking forward to seeing, when I feel like I'm alone in this world, when my house doesn't feel like home. You're always there to curl up next to me and melt away my anger or pain or frustration, even when we're sleeping in separate beds. I seriously would be so lost without you, and probably would not have made it out of the hell I was in 7 months ago. Even through all the doubt I may have cause you, you still stood by me and helped me back on my own two feet after several train wrecks came through my life. Lately I've been feeling that even though we didn't know of each others existence you have always been here, in the background somewhere pushing me to get through things, to keep moving, to make it out alive. Things were looking so grim not to long ago, through no one's fault but mine, and you came in to my life like a hurricane and washed it all away. And seriously all you do is be your sweet adorable caring self. I love sitting on the bed in your dorm while your busy on the computer playing video games instead of doing your homework and just watching you. Not in a creeper sort of way, I promise, more like I don't want to blink because I don't want to miss anything. That smile you have comes from your whole body, and when you laugh it seriously feels like nothing bad will ever happen in the world ever again. You've taught me patience, you've brought a calm to me I've never had before, and hope that my future is going to mean something. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Ever. And I will never be able to let you go, and don't even want to think about having to.
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I've got a nasty sinus infection and have had it for a while. I finally went to the wellness center and I'm on 6 days of a 750mg anti-biotic. It seems to be working, although this is only day three, I already feel much better and can actually smell things again. Hopefully by day six it will be totally gone and I'll have my sinuses back to normal.
To Jessie:
I know I've said this a billion times already but I need to do it again. Thank you for always being there for me, no matter what. When I'm sick as a dog and throwing up and crabby, when I'm sad because I was ditched by someone I was looking forward to seeing, when I feel like I'm alone in this world, when my house doesn't feel like home. You're always there to curl up next to me and melt away my anger or pain or frustration, even when we're sleeping in separate beds. I seriously would be so lost without you, and probably would not have made it out of the hell I was in 7 months ago. Even through all the doubt I may have cause you, you still stood by me and helped me back on my own two feet after several train wrecks came through my life. Lately I've been feeling that even though we didn't know of each others existence you have always been here, in the background somewhere pushing me to get through things, to keep moving, to make it out alive. Things were looking so grim not to long ago, through no one's fault but mine, and you came in to my life like a hurricane and washed it all away. And seriously all you do is be your sweet adorable caring self. I love sitting on the bed in your dorm while your busy on the computer playing video games instead of doing your homework and just watching you. Not in a creeper sort of way, I promise, more like I don't want to blink because I don't want to miss anything. That smile you have comes from your whole body, and when you laugh it seriously feels like nothing bad will ever happen in the world ever again. You've taught me patience, you've brought a calm to me I've never had before, and hope that my future is going to mean something. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Ever. And I will never be able to let you go, and don't even want to think about having to.
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Interesting Weekend
The weirdest weekend of my life just came and went. I honestly didn't know what to make of it, and I'm sure I still don't.
My Sweet Pea went on the intercultural retreat with our school this weekend and had an awesome time! And I am so happy for her :) I'm a little jealous that I didn't get to go along this year, but I am definantly planning on making it next year. She brought back pictures that are just gorgeous of the grounds, and the frogs, and the praying mantis! Looks like it was soooo much fun :)
That's not the weird part of my weekend though......
I got home Friday a little after 2pm and had lunch and relaxed. Seeing as how Jessie left campus for the retreat around then, I decided to bug out early and beat traffic home. After my Dad came home he decided it necessary to tell me about a conversation he had with my mom and licking her feet. I have no idea why the hell my parents feel the need to clue me in on their sex life, or any part of that kind of thing, but they do. At dinner they brought it up again making me want to cut my ears off and leave them on the dinner table.
So Friday comes and goes, I finally get to bed and fall asleep. Around 2:30am I get a drunk txt from Becca and a phone call from Emily wondering where I am. I turned my phone off after that, but had a hard time falling back asleep. When my phone rings that late at night I panic a little. As I was reaching for it to pick it up all these worst case scenarios started racing through my head about Jessie, my Godmother, my Aunt, MY BROTHER. And when I didn't recognize the number, because I did not have Emily's number in my phone book, it made it worse. False alarm though, everything is fine-just made me jumpy. I go to work and get a whole bunch of stuff done for school, watch supernatural, still trying to shake off everything. When I get home my mom asks me if she called me during the week would I come home and be with her if she got lonley. My Dad is leaving for Vegas on Monday (today) and coming back Friday. I told her no, that I would come home if she was hurt or if someone broke in to the house but otherwise she's 50 years old and I don't have a whole bunch of time to just throw out the window. Now this request is strange in itself, but what made it worse was that I felt like she was coming on to me. I got this increadibly creepy, weird, fucked up vibe from her as we talked about this, and it kinda made me not want to be alone with her in the house ever again. Saturday night I had to flush the runt of the litter in my fish tank :( Poor little guy put up a good fight, and I had him over a year, but either the other fishes attacked him or he got stuck on the filter cause he was pretty banged up and just kinda did the dead man's float before I scooped him out. RIP little guy.
So Sunday I go to work, come home and get packed up, help my Dad out with a few things for his Vegas trip. We wash the cars, I cook dinner and everything is as fine as they can be. I get in the car, hit the highway and see three really bad accidents, one on the right shoulder, one right in the middle of the outbound side, and one on the inbound side. It's not even a full moon. Jeez.
I'm back laying next to my loveley now though, and everything is feeling much better. I'm hoping I'll be able to shake some of this creepy feeling I got from my Mom this weekend, Jessie is sure helping with that. I love her cuddles, and when she kisses me, and all this cute quirky things she does to pieces. She always can bring a smile to my face no matter how angry, or creeped out, or scared, or sad I get. She is an Angel. We're coming up on three months for her and I (officially) and 7+ months of knowing each other and I seriously could not be happier.
The Cubbies won the division title! Which always makes me happy. And my sinuses continue to get worse day by day. I don't know if I'm going to be able to wait to go get them scraped out, which is bothersome because I really cannot afford to take a whole bunch of time off of school. My Godmother says that having it done is really not that bad, but my sinuses are screwed up. I hope it would be a quick procedure but who really knows.
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My Sweet Pea went on the intercultural retreat with our school this weekend and had an awesome time! And I am so happy for her :) I'm a little jealous that I didn't get to go along this year, but I am definantly planning on making it next year. She brought back pictures that are just gorgeous of the grounds, and the frogs, and the praying mantis! Looks like it was soooo much fun :)
That's not the weird part of my weekend though......
I got home Friday a little after 2pm and had lunch and relaxed. Seeing as how Jessie left campus for the retreat around then, I decided to bug out early and beat traffic home. After my Dad came home he decided it necessary to tell me about a conversation he had with my mom and licking her feet. I have no idea why the hell my parents feel the need to clue me in on their sex life, or any part of that kind of thing, but they do. At dinner they brought it up again making me want to cut my ears off and leave them on the dinner table.
So Friday comes and goes, I finally get to bed and fall asleep. Around 2:30am I get a drunk txt from Becca and a phone call from Emily wondering where I am. I turned my phone off after that, but had a hard time falling back asleep. When my phone rings that late at night I panic a little. As I was reaching for it to pick it up all these worst case scenarios started racing through my head about Jessie, my Godmother, my Aunt, MY BROTHER. And when I didn't recognize the number, because I did not have Emily's number in my phone book, it made it worse. False alarm though, everything is fine-just made me jumpy. I go to work and get a whole bunch of stuff done for school, watch supernatural, still trying to shake off everything. When I get home my mom asks me if she called me during the week would I come home and be with her if she got lonley. My Dad is leaving for Vegas on Monday (today) and coming back Friday. I told her no, that I would come home if she was hurt or if someone broke in to the house but otherwise she's 50 years old and I don't have a whole bunch of time to just throw out the window. Now this request is strange in itself, but what made it worse was that I felt like she was coming on to me. I got this increadibly creepy, weird, fucked up vibe from her as we talked about this, and it kinda made me not want to be alone with her in the house ever again. Saturday night I had to flush the runt of the litter in my fish tank :( Poor little guy put up a good fight, and I had him over a year, but either the other fishes attacked him or he got stuck on the filter cause he was pretty banged up and just kinda did the dead man's float before I scooped him out. RIP little guy.
So Sunday I go to work, come home and get packed up, help my Dad out with a few things for his Vegas trip. We wash the cars, I cook dinner and everything is as fine as they can be. I get in the car, hit the highway and see three really bad accidents, one on the right shoulder, one right in the middle of the outbound side, and one on the inbound side. It's not even a full moon. Jeez.
I'm back laying next to my loveley now though, and everything is feeling much better. I'm hoping I'll be able to shake some of this creepy feeling I got from my Mom this weekend, Jessie is sure helping with that. I love her cuddles, and when she kisses me, and all this cute quirky things she does to pieces. She always can bring a smile to my face no matter how angry, or creeped out, or scared, or sad I get. She is an Angel. We're coming up on three months for her and I (officially) and 7+ months of knowing each other and I seriously could not be happier.
The Cubbies won the division title! Which always makes me happy. And my sinuses continue to get worse day by day. I don't know if I'm going to be able to wait to go get them scraped out, which is bothersome because I really cannot afford to take a whole bunch of time off of school. My Godmother says that having it done is really not that bad, but my sinuses are screwed up. I hope it would be a quick procedure but who really knows.
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The rain keeps falling
Another week down for the fall semester and I'm still keeping up. A little overwhelmed but still doing alright. I can't complain about very much, aside from feeling like most of my classes this semester are a complete waste of time....again..... 2 weeks on gregorian chant? SERIOUSLY? But whatever I need it to graduate and then teach, and I want to teach so bad- I can't wait to get out there :)
The rain has been unreal so far, flooding around sweet pea's house and mine, no baseball and a hurricane bearing down on the Texan coast OH MY. Every time it looks like it's breaking up over here and finally getting light outside it comes down again. I'm still moist from my walk to work this morning :( There is a major spot of RED coming at us on the radar, and when I got in to the office this morning it looked like it was night time out. I seriously had to double check my clock to make sure it was Saturday morning and not still Friday night.
Jessie's 21st birthday was yesterday, we had dinner with her parents at a very nice restaurant in Schaumburg. It was such a wonderful time enjoying some ribs and conversation with her parents, and not having any negative energy sitting at the table.
Coming home last night was hard for me to do I have to admit, I really wanted to just drive back to school and stay there, but I'm glad I didn't have to drive in the rain this morning. The first thing my mom did when I came home was bitch about my brother wanting to come home this weekend and him calling at 5pm wanting someone to come get him and how I was a better son. I seriously cannot believe her sometimes. Oh well only 2 nights at home and I'm out of here for several days.
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The rain has been unreal so far, flooding around sweet pea's house and mine, no baseball and a hurricane bearing down on the Texan coast OH MY. Every time it looks like it's breaking up over here and finally getting light outside it comes down again. I'm still moist from my walk to work this morning :( There is a major spot of RED coming at us on the radar, and when I got in to the office this morning it looked like it was night time out. I seriously had to double check my clock to make sure it was Saturday morning and not still Friday night.
Jessie's 21st birthday was yesterday, we had dinner with her parents at a very nice restaurant in Schaumburg. It was such a wonderful time enjoying some ribs and conversation with her parents, and not having any negative energy sitting at the table.
Coming home last night was hard for me to do I have to admit, I really wanted to just drive back to school and stay there, but I'm glad I didn't have to drive in the rain this morning. The first thing my mom did when I came home was bitch about my brother wanting to come home this weekend and him calling at 5pm wanting someone to come get him and how I was a better son. I seriously cannot believe her sometimes. Oh well only 2 nights at home and I'm out of here for several days.
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Normally, I try to do this only once a week
But today is one of those days I feel like I need my voice to be heard. Today is the anniversary of the 911 attacks on this country, and even though there is some skepticism as to why these events happened and or how, all that really matters right now in my opinion is that we remember not only those that passed but also those who selflessly gave their lives to try and protect the lives of others. Specifically our soldiers fighting over there, try to help an adolescent society start thinking in a more peaceful and prosperous way-for the good of the whole world.
I will certainly never forget that day, driving to school listening to the radio and hearing that a plane had just crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. My mother calmly assuring me that it must have been an accident and then the phone call from my father that the airport was on lock down and he was not being allowed to get the hell out of the one of the biggest international hubs for air traffic in the world. That sense of fear and doubt that if something did in fact happen at O'hare, I would never see my father again. Thankfully and wonderfully he was able to get off the airport and come pick my brother and I up at school, after watching the second plane hit the second tower and my mother refusing to leave her job to come get her kids that were scared out of their minds, angry, confused and lost. My father, my hero, took his full sized Dodge Ram and drove through two police barracades, risking not only injury but jail time as well to come get me and my younger brother. The cops did let him go, as they too had families and children in school-but bravely and selflessly stayed at their posts on the parimeter of the airprot and let my father go to be with his kids. To mourn the deaths of the countless numbers of people who passed, and to be together as a family. It was armagedon, and we were far from ground zero, but all three of us tried desperatley to stay glued to the television, to commune with those who were in the thick of it, and those who had lost their lives. An impossible task, but one we all felt neccessary as American citizens, as a family. This all might sound a little selfish on my part, I was home with my family, the family that mattered anyway-but I can assure you that's not how I meant it. I wanted to get in the car and drive to NY to help do whatever I could. I was far from legal driving age at that time and my father, who wanted to help too, thought that the safest place for us was right where we were-and also thought, and I think rightfully so, that the people there were doing everything they could and we would surely just be in the way by the time we got there. So instead of driving there, helping out first hand, my brother and I pooled our measly life savings togther and handed it to my father, who pooled it with his own money and we sent that, hoping that our small contribution could help someone, somewhere. I like to think it did, not only for my own peace of mind but also for the sake of those who needed it.
Today is a day for rememberance, thanks, and appreciation. Today as I go about my day making my girlfriends birthday present, skipping my first class, and while in conductin training it will be hard to shake how I'm feeling right now; and I don't want to shake it. This is something we can never forget, make it less dramatic yes, but not forget it. Otherwise I think those who have given their lives, both soldiers and civilians alike, would have done so in vain-and that my friends is almost worse than the attacks themselves.
Here is a list of those soldiers who bravely gave their lives fighting in the middle east:
List
Here is a list of some Iraqis who have also passed
List 2
"Find a way to mourn and honor these dead today. Because how we treat them matters" -Quinn G. Caldwell is Associate Pastor, Old South Church, Boston, Massachusetts.
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I will certainly never forget that day, driving to school listening to the radio and hearing that a plane had just crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. My mother calmly assuring me that it must have been an accident and then the phone call from my father that the airport was on lock down and he was not being allowed to get the hell out of the one of the biggest international hubs for air traffic in the world. That sense of fear and doubt that if something did in fact happen at O'hare, I would never see my father again. Thankfully and wonderfully he was able to get off the airport and come pick my brother and I up at school, after watching the second plane hit the second tower and my mother refusing to leave her job to come get her kids that were scared out of their minds, angry, confused and lost. My father, my hero, took his full sized Dodge Ram and drove through two police barracades, risking not only injury but jail time as well to come get me and my younger brother. The cops did let him go, as they too had families and children in school-but bravely and selflessly stayed at their posts on the parimeter of the airprot and let my father go to be with his kids. To mourn the deaths of the countless numbers of people who passed, and to be together as a family. It was armagedon, and we were far from ground zero, but all three of us tried desperatley to stay glued to the television, to commune with those who were in the thick of it, and those who had lost their lives. An impossible task, but one we all felt neccessary as American citizens, as a family. This all might sound a little selfish on my part, I was home with my family, the family that mattered anyway-but I can assure you that's not how I meant it. I wanted to get in the car and drive to NY to help do whatever I could. I was far from legal driving age at that time and my father, who wanted to help too, thought that the safest place for us was right where we were-and also thought, and I think rightfully so, that the people there were doing everything they could and we would surely just be in the way by the time we got there. So instead of driving there, helping out first hand, my brother and I pooled our measly life savings togther and handed it to my father, who pooled it with his own money and we sent that, hoping that our small contribution could help someone, somewhere. I like to think it did, not only for my own peace of mind but also for the sake of those who needed it.
Today is a day for rememberance, thanks, and appreciation. Today as I go about my day making my girlfriends birthday present, skipping my first class, and while in conductin training it will be hard to shake how I'm feeling right now; and I don't want to shake it. This is something we can never forget, make it less dramatic yes, but not forget it. Otherwise I think those who have given their lives, both soldiers and civilians alike, would have done so in vain-and that my friends is almost worse than the attacks themselves.
Here is a list of those soldiers who bravely gave their lives fighting in the middle east:
List
Here is a list of some Iraqis who have also passed
List 2
"Find a way to mourn and honor these dead today. Because how we treat them matters" -Quinn G. Caldwell is Associate Pastor, Old South Church, Boston, Massachusetts.
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This week in Andrewland
Week two under our belts it feels good to be back in school. Less 8 commutes and more time for studies, Jessie and friends- life is good. Yea the workload seems to be worse than last year but it's not impossible, and making wind ensemble and actually being able to tell I've improved (regardless of band placement) feels good as well.
Hung out with the old man last night, went down to navy pier and grabbed dinner, talked and watch the dark night at the Imax down there. I really enjoy hanging out with my Dad when it's just me and him and we don't have to worry about offending anyone with what we talk about or have other people contributing negatively to the conversation. Ice cream, pretty girls walking by and bs with my dad-it seriously was the most relaxing night I've had in the city in a long time. I havn't gotten to have one on one time with him like that in too long as well so it was good catching up and just hanging out.
Still trying to figure out what to get Sweet Pea for her birthday on friday. Turning the big 21! WOOT! Happy early birthday Jessie :*
Alright time for lunch and to get some homework done
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Hung out with the old man last night, went down to navy pier and grabbed dinner, talked and watch the dark night at the Imax down there. I really enjoy hanging out with my Dad when it's just me and him and we don't have to worry about offending anyone with what we talk about or have other people contributing negatively to the conversation. Ice cream, pretty girls walking by and bs with my dad-it seriously was the most relaxing night I've had in the city in a long time. I havn't gotten to have one on one time with him like that in too long as well so it was good catching up and just hanging out.
Still trying to figure out what to get Sweet Pea for her birthday on friday. Turning the big 21! WOOT! Happy early birthday Jessie :*
Alright time for lunch and to get some homework done
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Week One Down
First week of school officially done! It feels so very good to be back in class and at Elmhurst and to not have to commute! It's amazing how cutting out an hour and a half commute (one way) boosted my energy, gave me much more time for studies and relaxing, not to mention spending time with my dearest and my friends.
The work load this semester is by far the worst I've had yet. Music history alone is going to take up a lot of time, hopefully we'll get a group together and get it down as a team. The encounters alone are going to kill us, not to mention the reading and the research etc etc. I'm enjoying learning about music history though, as I've never had an official class or anything on it.
Falling asleep next to my Jess is still a work in progress but amazing none the less. She's the most adorable thing ever as far as I'm concerned, and really cuddly too when she's not beating me up in her sleep (cough cough lol) It's good practice for the future, and there should defiantly be no surprises if I'm lucky enough to have her hand later on in life.
I just bought the mp3 download of Finzi's Five Bagatels this morning as I've been itching to hear it again. I played the first movement for a Jury and loved the pice as difficult as it was. The rest of his work is beautiful as well and with the office to myself right now it's cranked. I also downloaded his Three Soliloquies which again is amazing. Classical music has taken on a whole new form for me I think.
I made Wind Ensemble this year too! Which I am totally amazed, excited and terrified about. It's going to be a serious challenge and I know I can handle it, it's for sure uncharted territory around EC though, I'm looking forward to a change in pace though. I love playing under Ross, but a chance to play under a different director while still in College is something that is hard to pass up-not to mention the competition is tough to get in the wind ensemble. There has already been an attempt at trying to get me out of it through rumors and what have you-but it's not going to stop or discourage me from this. If I get removed from the Wind Ensemble it's going to be because I simply cannot handle it, and that will be by my own doing. I really cannot stand to be messed with like this, however petty and immature this person's actions are it's not something I can just overlook. I'm not going to be vicious or mean about anything, but I'm not going to roll over either.
It's good to see my brother again, and it was fun playing some TF2 with him last night. I'm looking forward to getting home so we can play some more and hang out. Jess' brother comes home from boot camp as a Marine Monday and I am SO EXCITED for her and him! It's an accomplishment of a lifetime for him and I know seeing her little brother will make my favorite person in the world a very happy girl.
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The work load this semester is by far the worst I've had yet. Music history alone is going to take up a lot of time, hopefully we'll get a group together and get it down as a team. The encounters alone are going to kill us, not to mention the reading and the research etc etc. I'm enjoying learning about music history though, as I've never had an official class or anything on it.
Falling asleep next to my Jess is still a work in progress but amazing none the less. She's the most adorable thing ever as far as I'm concerned, and really cuddly too when she's not beating me up in her sleep (cough cough lol) It's good practice for the future, and there should defiantly be no surprises if I'm lucky enough to have her hand later on in life.
I just bought the mp3 download of Finzi's Five Bagatels this morning as I've been itching to hear it again. I played the first movement for a Jury and loved the pice as difficult as it was. The rest of his work is beautiful as well and with the office to myself right now it's cranked. I also downloaded his Three Soliloquies which again is amazing. Classical music has taken on a whole new form for me I think.
I made Wind Ensemble this year too! Which I am totally amazed, excited and terrified about. It's going to be a serious challenge and I know I can handle it, it's for sure uncharted territory around EC though, I'm looking forward to a change in pace though. I love playing under Ross, but a chance to play under a different director while still in College is something that is hard to pass up-not to mention the competition is tough to get in the wind ensemble. There has already been an attempt at trying to get me out of it through rumors and what have you-but it's not going to stop or discourage me from this. If I get removed from the Wind Ensemble it's going to be because I simply cannot handle it, and that will be by my own doing. I really cannot stand to be messed with like this, however petty and immature this person's actions are it's not something I can just overlook. I'm not going to be vicious or mean about anything, but I'm not going to roll over either.
It's good to see my brother again, and it was fun playing some TF2 with him last night. I'm looking forward to getting home so we can play some more and hang out. Jess' brother comes home from boot camp as a Marine Monday and I am SO EXCITED for her and him! It's an accomplishment of a lifetime for him and I know seeing her little brother will make my favorite person in the world a very happy girl.
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Finally living out of the house
Day 3 on campus and I am loving it. It feels so good not to have driven an hour and a half in the morning knowing I have a full day ahead of me with lots of work to do as well as spend time with the important people around here. My roommate is cool although I almost never see him (mostly by my own fault) and the two guys next door seem cool too. Jess's room is amazing and comfortable and her suite mates are all really nice and sweet.
My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
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My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
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Weekly Update
6 days and counting until the great move. I'm a mix of excited, leary, and impatient all at the same time. Excited because it's a big step in the right direction with my life, it will help me focus better at school and save money and time. Time especially that will help me get closer to my friends, I'm tired of being so distant with people around me. I want to get to know J, James, Mickie, Jen and Dave more closely. Living on campus and being around them more constantly is going to be awesome and I am soooooo looking forward to it.
In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
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In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
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