But today is one of those days I feel like I need my voice to be heard. Today is the anniversary of the 911 attacks on this country, and even though there is some skepticism as to why these events happened and or how, all that really matters right now in my opinion is that we remember not only those that passed but also those who selflessly gave their lives to try and protect the lives of others. Specifically our soldiers fighting over there, try to help an adolescent society start thinking in a more peaceful and prosperous way-for the good of the whole world.
I will certainly never forget that day, driving to school listening to the radio and hearing that a plane had just crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. My mother calmly assuring me that it must have been an accident and then the phone call from my father that the airport was on lock down and he was not being allowed to get the hell out of the one of the biggest international hubs for air traffic in the world. That sense of fear and doubt that if something did in fact happen at O'hare, I would never see my father again. Thankfully and wonderfully he was able to get off the airport and come pick my brother and I up at school, after watching the second plane hit the second tower and my mother refusing to leave her job to come get her kids that were scared out of their minds, angry, confused and lost. My father, my hero, took his full sized Dodge Ram and drove through two police barracades, risking not only injury but jail time as well to come get me and my younger brother. The cops did let him go, as they too had families and children in school-but bravely and selflessly stayed at their posts on the parimeter of the airprot and let my father go to be with his kids. To mourn the deaths of the countless numbers of people who passed, and to be together as a family. It was armagedon, and we were far from ground zero, but all three of us tried desperatley to stay glued to the television, to commune with those who were in the thick of it, and those who had lost their lives. An impossible task, but one we all felt neccessary as American citizens, as a family. This all might sound a little selfish on my part, I was home with my family, the family that mattered anyway-but I can assure you that's not how I meant it. I wanted to get in the car and drive to NY to help do whatever I could. I was far from legal driving age at that time and my father, who wanted to help too, thought that the safest place for us was right where we were-and also thought, and I think rightfully so, that the people there were doing everything they could and we would surely just be in the way by the time we got there. So instead of driving there, helping out first hand, my brother and I pooled our measly life savings togther and handed it to my father, who pooled it with his own money and we sent that, hoping that our small contribution could help someone, somewhere. I like to think it did, not only for my own peace of mind but also for the sake of those who needed it.
Today is a day for rememberance, thanks, and appreciation. Today as I go about my day making my girlfriends birthday present, skipping my first class, and while in conductin training it will be hard to shake how I'm feeling right now; and I don't want to shake it. This is something we can never forget, make it less dramatic yes, but not forget it. Otherwise I think those who have given their lives, both soldiers and civilians alike, would have done so in vain-and that my friends is almost worse than the attacks themselves.
Here is a list of those soldiers who bravely gave their lives fighting in the middle east:
List
Here is a list of some Iraqis who have also passed
List 2
"Find a way to mourn and honor these dead today. Because how we treat them matters" -Quinn G. Caldwell is Associate Pastor, Old South Church, Boston, Massachusetts.
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This week in Andrewland
Week two under our belts it feels good to be back in school. Less 8 commutes and more time for studies, Jessie and friends- life is good. Yea the workload seems to be worse than last year but it's not impossible, and making wind ensemble and actually being able to tell I've improved (regardless of band placement) feels good as well.
Hung out with the old man last night, went down to navy pier and grabbed dinner, talked and watch the dark night at the Imax down there. I really enjoy hanging out with my Dad when it's just me and him and we don't have to worry about offending anyone with what we talk about or have other people contributing negatively to the conversation. Ice cream, pretty girls walking by and bs with my dad-it seriously was the most relaxing night I've had in the city in a long time. I havn't gotten to have one on one time with him like that in too long as well so it was good catching up and just hanging out.
Still trying to figure out what to get Sweet Pea for her birthday on friday. Turning the big 21! WOOT! Happy early birthday Jessie :*
Alright time for lunch and to get some homework done
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Hung out with the old man last night, went down to navy pier and grabbed dinner, talked and watch the dark night at the Imax down there. I really enjoy hanging out with my Dad when it's just me and him and we don't have to worry about offending anyone with what we talk about or have other people contributing negatively to the conversation. Ice cream, pretty girls walking by and bs with my dad-it seriously was the most relaxing night I've had in the city in a long time. I havn't gotten to have one on one time with him like that in too long as well so it was good catching up and just hanging out.
Still trying to figure out what to get Sweet Pea for her birthday on friday. Turning the big 21! WOOT! Happy early birthday Jessie :*
Alright time for lunch and to get some homework done
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Week One Down
First week of school officially done! It feels so very good to be back in class and at Elmhurst and to not have to commute! It's amazing how cutting out an hour and a half commute (one way) boosted my energy, gave me much more time for studies and relaxing, not to mention spending time with my dearest and my friends.
The work load this semester is by far the worst I've had yet. Music history alone is going to take up a lot of time, hopefully we'll get a group together and get it down as a team. The encounters alone are going to kill us, not to mention the reading and the research etc etc. I'm enjoying learning about music history though, as I've never had an official class or anything on it.
Falling asleep next to my Jess is still a work in progress but amazing none the less. She's the most adorable thing ever as far as I'm concerned, and really cuddly too when she's not beating me up in her sleep (cough cough lol) It's good practice for the future, and there should defiantly be no surprises if I'm lucky enough to have her hand later on in life.
I just bought the mp3 download of Finzi's Five Bagatels this morning as I've been itching to hear it again. I played the first movement for a Jury and loved the pice as difficult as it was. The rest of his work is beautiful as well and with the office to myself right now it's cranked. I also downloaded his Three Soliloquies which again is amazing. Classical music has taken on a whole new form for me I think.
I made Wind Ensemble this year too! Which I am totally amazed, excited and terrified about. It's going to be a serious challenge and I know I can handle it, it's for sure uncharted territory around EC though, I'm looking forward to a change in pace though. I love playing under Ross, but a chance to play under a different director while still in College is something that is hard to pass up-not to mention the competition is tough to get in the wind ensemble. There has already been an attempt at trying to get me out of it through rumors and what have you-but it's not going to stop or discourage me from this. If I get removed from the Wind Ensemble it's going to be because I simply cannot handle it, and that will be by my own doing. I really cannot stand to be messed with like this, however petty and immature this person's actions are it's not something I can just overlook. I'm not going to be vicious or mean about anything, but I'm not going to roll over either.
It's good to see my brother again, and it was fun playing some TF2 with him last night. I'm looking forward to getting home so we can play some more and hang out. Jess' brother comes home from boot camp as a Marine Monday and I am SO EXCITED for her and him! It's an accomplishment of a lifetime for him and I know seeing her little brother will make my favorite person in the world a very happy girl.
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The work load this semester is by far the worst I've had yet. Music history alone is going to take up a lot of time, hopefully we'll get a group together and get it down as a team. The encounters alone are going to kill us, not to mention the reading and the research etc etc. I'm enjoying learning about music history though, as I've never had an official class or anything on it.
Falling asleep next to my Jess is still a work in progress but amazing none the less. She's the most adorable thing ever as far as I'm concerned, and really cuddly too when she's not beating me up in her sleep (cough cough lol) It's good practice for the future, and there should defiantly be no surprises if I'm lucky enough to have her hand later on in life.
I just bought the mp3 download of Finzi's Five Bagatels this morning as I've been itching to hear it again. I played the first movement for a Jury and loved the pice as difficult as it was. The rest of his work is beautiful as well and with the office to myself right now it's cranked. I also downloaded his Three Soliloquies which again is amazing. Classical music has taken on a whole new form for me I think.
I made Wind Ensemble this year too! Which I am totally amazed, excited and terrified about. It's going to be a serious challenge and I know I can handle it, it's for sure uncharted territory around EC though, I'm looking forward to a change in pace though. I love playing under Ross, but a chance to play under a different director while still in College is something that is hard to pass up-not to mention the competition is tough to get in the wind ensemble. There has already been an attempt at trying to get me out of it through rumors and what have you-but it's not going to stop or discourage me from this. If I get removed from the Wind Ensemble it's going to be because I simply cannot handle it, and that will be by my own doing. I really cannot stand to be messed with like this, however petty and immature this person's actions are it's not something I can just overlook. I'm not going to be vicious or mean about anything, but I'm not going to roll over either.
It's good to see my brother again, and it was fun playing some TF2 with him last night. I'm looking forward to getting home so we can play some more and hang out. Jess' brother comes home from boot camp as a Marine Monday and I am SO EXCITED for her and him! It's an accomplishment of a lifetime for him and I know seeing her little brother will make my favorite person in the world a very happy girl.
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Finally living out of the house
Day 3 on campus and I am loving it. It feels so good not to have driven an hour and a half in the morning knowing I have a full day ahead of me with lots of work to do as well as spend time with the important people around here. My roommate is cool although I almost never see him (mostly by my own fault) and the two guys next door seem cool too. Jess's room is amazing and comfortable and her suite mates are all really nice and sweet.
My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
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My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
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Weekly Update
6 days and counting until the great move. I'm a mix of excited, leary, and impatient all at the same time. Excited because it's a big step in the right direction with my life, it will help me focus better at school and save money and time. Time especially that will help me get closer to my friends, I'm tired of being so distant with people around me. I want to get to know J, James, Mickie, Jen and Dave more closely. Living on campus and being around them more constantly is going to be awesome and I am soooooo looking forward to it.
In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
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In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
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Weekly Update
Things continue to go smoothly even with the anticipation of the summer coming to a close and taking the first steps to a life on my own coming closer and closer. All of yesterday and today I can't help but feel like I'm going to miss the way things are and have been for the past 20 years. I'm always one to embrace positive life altering changes, but there are things I'm going to miss a lot. One of which is my city on days like today. Sunny, mildly warm with a cool breeze reminds me of days when I was so much younger and thought the world a much bigger place. Today especially reminds me of days I spent at home, with all the windows in the house open, some random record playing on the stereo and me and my family going about our various things just enjoying the feel of the nice day. Birthdays come and gone, mistakes I've made, positive things I've done and decisions both good and bad and how those decisions have shaped who I am as I sit here typing this today.
As much as I can't stand the congestion and noise of the city I do love it so. I love navagating the streets, riding my bike through the neighborhoods, knowing a store with everything I need is a simple ten minute walk from my doorstep-and even the noise. The sounds of the city is what I've fallen asleep to for the past 20 years even with the windows and doors closed-it is strange to sleep somewhere that doesn't have a quiet roar in the background.
I suppose all of these feelings are adolescent, and I should have been going through this two years ago instead of my Junior year in college. But that comes down to a choice I made, the choice to commute instead of move out at 18. The choice to stay and try and support my brother and family like I have for so long but yet branch out myself and have my own life-a choice that now I see is futile and near impossible. I NEED to get out, I NEED to create my own experiences and do things my way and learn all of these things. I am ready beyond belief, there is no doubt there-but I am going to miss all of this when I'm living 5 days a week in Elmhurst. Elmhurst in it's own right is a great town as well, I love walking around there, shopping there and the suburbs are really where my heart has wanted to be for a while now. Yes things are spread out, but the traffic is no where near as bad as in the city, teaching positions are often more productive in a burb with the right ingredients, and lets face it all of my friends now live out there-there's really no one left here. My brother is going to be leaving too, and as much as I love my parents to be home without him would feel very weird. Knowing that he won't be home for several months at a time while I sit and deal with the bs, the commute, and the general lone wolf syndrome I seem to have brought upon myself is something I can not do. I love my parents, but the circumstances at home have pushed me away pretty drastically right now, and they are so set in their ways I doubt things will change very much very soon. Having no kids in the house is going to rock their world as well, and I'm honestly really nervous how much not having me and my brother around is going to rock that house-I can see it shaking things up more than anything in our history as a family ever has-there will be no sounding boards, no buffers, no glue. I don't think I'm prepared to handle another fire in that house, especially not while studying and trying to get my life started and together. One thing is for sure though, extended family's bullshit will no longer be able to affect my life-not with someplace warm and safe to go to, and certainly not with Jess's warm, caring and affectionate arms to give me a way station for a while to recoupe.
The things I have seen and felt from her latley have been nothing short of amazing. She's come sooooo far on her flute in such a short time and I am SO PROUD of her. It's going to be great having her in band this fall! She continues to get more and more gorgeous each and every time she comes to the door to let me in, and adorable describes only a tiny part of how she is. All of my inhibitions, doubts, fears, weaknesses, vices, all the negative and dark inside me is quieting down. She has touched my life in so many ways and continues to help heal things that have been ripped in me from so long ago. I've said that I've never felt this way before to a lot of things and to a few people I wish I hadn't-but this time is so much different it is indescribable. She's given me so much calm inside, even my untameable temper has shut up and gone to sleep. It's nice to know I still got it just in case I need to protect her, but the demons and all the noise in the back of my head has subsided and continues to subside. My heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest, I've been able to keep focused on things I never thought I would focus on-I'm going to KICK ASS this fall :)
I could go on for hours about my Jessie, the way she makes me feel, what she does for me just being there without hidden motive (something I've never been able to believe about anyone ever before) and how she really is into me because she likes what I do for her too. I know I can be aggravating and I get pissy sometimes, but 99% of that isn't even directed or about her. All I want to do is take care of her, let her curl up someplace safe and warm, support her in everything she wants to do and lend my knowledge and ability with things that she needs help with. The balance between being a boyfriend and being overinvolved is hard, and its a fine line between the two-but with Jessie it's easy for me to see when she needs me to help and when she needs me to stand by and watch just in case something happens. Just to be there for support is something that seems to come naturally to both of us-because she doesn't even come close to smothering me either.
Even though I'm going to miss the way things are and have been, locations, people etc. The future looks bright and is exciting. It's not going to be a perfectly paved, smooth road but I really do feel like I can handle whatever comes at me, healthwise or other and there isn't a damn thing that can stop me from making my dreams a reality.
On a lighter note, my car lighting project continues to move along nicely. I thought it would be a one shot project but I should know better. I'm waiting on having the time to drive out and get a switch to power everything. My origional problems of finding a place to supply power to my lights is gone, I found an open fuse socket that has plenty of 12V power coming out of it, the only problem is it is not tied in with the ignition so the power is continuous hence putting a switch in. I either have to go to Grainger-if it's open to the public-or out to Desplaines/Mount Prospect to get a switch that will work and not look like I put a household switch in my car. Wednesday is when I plan on doing all this searching for a switch, and hopefully Wednesday night, when I get home from Jessie's, I will have this project all tied up and working like a champ :) Pictures of exactly what I did are below with descriptions.
After taking the door pannel off on both the driver's side and passanger's side, I used a drill bit that was slightly bigger than my LED to drill a hole through the top of the speaker well in a place that would give me enough room to bend the LED through the hole and anchor the mini circuit board the LED is tied in to.
I used simple electrical tape to anchor the board in place. I designed this entire system to be able to come out if I need to take my car in for repair-that way I don't void my warranty.
This is the anchor for my speaker which is the perfect ground for my LED. It's the only unpainted area of the door within reach of my light so:
I simply electrical taped the ground to the speaker anchor. It took a little more tape than I thought to get a good ground.
I then wired my lead from my LED to my lead wire I ran earlier. This is the result:
In the back I ran into a major problem. Instead of just a massive bunch of wire going out of the body and in to the door, there are plugs to get the electrical conncetions through the body and in to the wiring in the doors. My solution was to run the wire in the back but instead of into the doors I simply ran it under the rear seats. After mouting the LED to one of the anchors for the driver and passanger seats, grounding the LEDS to an unpainted area of the frame (underneath the snap on garnish piece to hide all the components) and wiring the lead into my power wire I ran, here is the result in the back:
So I'm now waiting on getting my switch which will most likely happen on Wednesday on our way up to the Botanic Gardens for our picnic unless I can persuade my brother to take a ride with me after breakfast with my Godmother on Tuesday. I also have a fuse box that I am going to wire in to the system that way if there is a problem I will know exactly which leg has the problem instead of having to pull it all out and start from scratch. LED's don't draw that much power but you never know.
Once I have it all together I'll post more pictures on how I wired in the switch, fuses etc and the final take on the project.
As much as I can't stand the congestion and noise of the city I do love it so. I love navagating the streets, riding my bike through the neighborhoods, knowing a store with everything I need is a simple ten minute walk from my doorstep-and even the noise. The sounds of the city is what I've fallen asleep to for the past 20 years even with the windows and doors closed-it is strange to sleep somewhere that doesn't have a quiet roar in the background.
I suppose all of these feelings are adolescent, and I should have been going through this two years ago instead of my Junior year in college. But that comes down to a choice I made, the choice to commute instead of move out at 18. The choice to stay and try and support my brother and family like I have for so long but yet branch out myself and have my own life-a choice that now I see is futile and near impossible. I NEED to get out, I NEED to create my own experiences and do things my way and learn all of these things. I am ready beyond belief, there is no doubt there-but I am going to miss all of this when I'm living 5 days a week in Elmhurst. Elmhurst in it's own right is a great town as well, I love walking around there, shopping there and the suburbs are really where my heart has wanted to be for a while now. Yes things are spread out, but the traffic is no where near as bad as in the city, teaching positions are often more productive in a burb with the right ingredients, and lets face it all of my friends now live out there-there's really no one left here. My brother is going to be leaving too, and as much as I love my parents to be home without him would feel very weird. Knowing that he won't be home for several months at a time while I sit and deal with the bs, the commute, and the general lone wolf syndrome I seem to have brought upon myself is something I can not do. I love my parents, but the circumstances at home have pushed me away pretty drastically right now, and they are so set in their ways I doubt things will change very much very soon. Having no kids in the house is going to rock their world as well, and I'm honestly really nervous how much not having me and my brother around is going to rock that house-I can see it shaking things up more than anything in our history as a family ever has-there will be no sounding boards, no buffers, no glue. I don't think I'm prepared to handle another fire in that house, especially not while studying and trying to get my life started and together. One thing is for sure though, extended family's bullshit will no longer be able to affect my life-not with someplace warm and safe to go to, and certainly not with Jess's warm, caring and affectionate arms to give me a way station for a while to recoupe.
The things I have seen and felt from her latley have been nothing short of amazing. She's come sooooo far on her flute in such a short time and I am SO PROUD of her. It's going to be great having her in band this fall! She continues to get more and more gorgeous each and every time she comes to the door to let me in, and adorable describes only a tiny part of how she is. All of my inhibitions, doubts, fears, weaknesses, vices, all the negative and dark inside me is quieting down. She has touched my life in so many ways and continues to help heal things that have been ripped in me from so long ago. I've said that I've never felt this way before to a lot of things and to a few people I wish I hadn't-but this time is so much different it is indescribable. She's given me so much calm inside, even my untameable temper has shut up and gone to sleep. It's nice to know I still got it just in case I need to protect her, but the demons and all the noise in the back of my head has subsided and continues to subside. My heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest, I've been able to keep focused on things I never thought I would focus on-I'm going to KICK ASS this fall :)
I could go on for hours about my Jessie, the way she makes me feel, what she does for me just being there without hidden motive (something I've never been able to believe about anyone ever before) and how she really is into me because she likes what I do for her too. I know I can be aggravating and I get pissy sometimes, but 99% of that isn't even directed or about her. All I want to do is take care of her, let her curl up someplace safe and warm, support her in everything she wants to do and lend my knowledge and ability with things that she needs help with. The balance between being a boyfriend and being overinvolved is hard, and its a fine line between the two-but with Jessie it's easy for me to see when she needs me to help and when she needs me to stand by and watch just in case something happens. Just to be there for support is something that seems to come naturally to both of us-because she doesn't even come close to smothering me either.
Even though I'm going to miss the way things are and have been, locations, people etc. The future looks bright and is exciting. It's not going to be a perfectly paved, smooth road but I really do feel like I can handle whatever comes at me, healthwise or other and there isn't a damn thing that can stop me from making my dreams a reality.
On a lighter note, my car lighting project continues to move along nicely. I thought it would be a one shot project but I should know better. I'm waiting on having the time to drive out and get a switch to power everything. My origional problems of finding a place to supply power to my lights is gone, I found an open fuse socket that has plenty of 12V power coming out of it, the only problem is it is not tied in with the ignition so the power is continuous hence putting a switch in. I either have to go to Grainger-if it's open to the public-or out to Desplaines/Mount Prospect to get a switch that will work and not look like I put a household switch in my car. Wednesday is when I plan on doing all this searching for a switch, and hopefully Wednesday night, when I get home from Jessie's, I will have this project all tied up and working like a champ :) Pictures of exactly what I did are below with descriptions.
After taking the door pannel off on both the driver's side and passanger's side, I used a drill bit that was slightly bigger than my LED to drill a hole through the top of the speaker well in a place that would give me enough room to bend the LED through the hole and anchor the mini circuit board the LED is tied in to.
I used simple electrical tape to anchor the board in place. I designed this entire system to be able to come out if I need to take my car in for repair-that way I don't void my warranty.
This is the anchor for my speaker which is the perfect ground for my LED. It's the only unpainted area of the door within reach of my light so:
I simply electrical taped the ground to the speaker anchor. It took a little more tape than I thought to get a good ground.I then wired my lead from my LED to my lead wire I ran earlier. This is the result:
In the back I ran into a major problem. Instead of just a massive bunch of wire going out of the body and in to the door, there are plugs to get the electrical conncetions through the body and in to the wiring in the doors. My solution was to run the wire in the back but instead of into the doors I simply ran it under the rear seats. After mouting the LED to one of the anchors for the driver and passanger seats, grounding the LEDS to an unpainted area of the frame (underneath the snap on garnish piece to hide all the components) and wiring the lead into my power wire I ran, here is the result in the back:
So I'm now waiting on getting my switch which will most likely happen on Wednesday on our way up to the Botanic Gardens for our picnic unless I can persuade my brother to take a ride with me after breakfast with my Godmother on Tuesday. I also have a fuse box that I am going to wire in to the system that way if there is a problem I will know exactly which leg has the problem instead of having to pull it all out and start from scratch. LED's don't draw that much power but you never know.
Once I have it all together I'll post more pictures on how I wired in the switch, fuses etc and the final take on the project.
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What the Flying F
Mainstream music has hit an all time low with the release of "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and the forced ramming of it down my throat. I refuse to turn on any radio station (satellite [which i pay for monthy] or otherwise) until this obscene and ignorant piece of trash is not bouncing around the air waves. In an age where homosexual's are having to constantly fight for their equality, for their GOD GIVEN RIGHTS mainstream America is still stupid enough to put this crap on the radio? Wait...why am I so surprised? Of course it's on the radio! Okay who did Katy Perry have to blow or sex up to get her disgusting voice on the radio. And the music video? Seriously? I'm just about ready to grab my toaster, cut the GFI plug off ot it, connect it to a car battery and get in to the bathtub. ZAP! Yea yea I know "freedom of speech" but seriously? It's one thing to excercise your freedom of speech, but another to take that freedom and use it to both mock and undermine an ever growing part of the global society. Oh and before you jump to another conclusion: I. AM. STRAIGHT. Those of you who are homosexual, please feel free in joining me with an anti-radio boycott until this shit is taken off the air. Comment or message me on here if you please too.
Okay so now that that rant is over on to business. I got all my housing stuff for this fall, and every day that goes by I seriously cannot wait that much more to get the flying hell out of this house and away from certain people. To be able to spend all kinds of time with my lovely, and be within walking distance of her place of residence has got me so excited it's hard to fall asleep sometimes. It's been a great adventure with you so far Sweet Pea, you've taught me so much abtout myself, helped me conquer some very big demons and tone down the noise of my life. I seriously cannot wait to see what life has up it's sleeve for us :)
My lights, fuses and fuse box will be arriving tomorrow, so hopefully tuesday and wednesday I'll be able to get those in and this project tied up. I'm excited to give Layla some extra flare!
Things around work seem to be slowing down considerably more and more every weekend which is bothersome, hopefully with the change of the president this economy will bonce back-although I'm positive we still havn't found a bottom yet.
I've started writing two songs and hope to finish them very soon.
that's about it, i'm going to go lift some weights before I put my fist through a wall.
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Okay so now that that rant is over on to business. I got all my housing stuff for this fall, and every day that goes by I seriously cannot wait that much more to get the flying hell out of this house and away from certain people. To be able to spend all kinds of time with my lovely, and be within walking distance of her place of residence has got me so excited it's hard to fall asleep sometimes. It's been a great adventure with you so far Sweet Pea, you've taught me so much abtout myself, helped me conquer some very big demons and tone down the noise of my life. I seriously cannot wait to see what life has up it's sleeve for us :)
My lights, fuses and fuse box will be arriving tomorrow, so hopefully tuesday and wednesday I'll be able to get those in and this project tied up. I'm excited to give Layla some extra flare!
Things around work seem to be slowing down considerably more and more every weekend which is bothersome, hopefully with the change of the president this economy will bonce back-although I'm positive we still havn't found a bottom yet.
I've started writing two songs and hope to finish them very soon.
that's about it, i'm going to go lift some weights before I put my fist through a wall.
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Car Project Day 1
So I started pulling the wire around my car for the lights. It was much more difficult than I thought as many of the spaces are tight to work in without moving massive amounts of the interior out of the cabin. I also discovered that with modern technology running a simple wiring configuration is both frustrating and impossible in many areas. Areas such as the rear doors. There is no way to run a single wire through the frame and in to the rear doors without drilling a whole through both. I'm kinda impressed that my car is so sophisticated and well built but it makes doing small modifications impossible. I did manage to get some done though and instead of putting the lights in the speakers wells in the rear I'm going to mount them under the seats with the light pointing towards the bench. A little traditional but still enough of a mod for me I think.
So I got my 14 gauge wire, screw drivers, wire cutters and flashlight ready to go. I then took off the trim and kick plates inside the car. They just pop off but be careful because most of the snaps are plastic and can be easily broken.
This is the shot of the interior fuse panel. This is where I will draw my power lead as well as run all the wires through. The switch will sit in the panel that covers this box. I have knock outs for 3 switches (2 after I'm done with this project). One of them will be devoted to lights in the engine compartment and lights for my license plate holder screws. (mwahahahaha) I think I'm going to paint my brake rotors and maybe something else I don't know....
This is the area I wanted to light up on all four doors but now only two:
The part circled in red is where the light will be.
More to come later on.
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So I got my 14 gauge wire, screw drivers, wire cutters and flashlight ready to go. I then took off the trim and kick plates inside the car. They just pop off but be careful because most of the snaps are plastic and can be easily broken.
This is the shot of the interior fuse panel. This is where I will draw my power lead as well as run all the wires through. The switch will sit in the panel that covers this box. I have knock outs for 3 switches (2 after I'm done with this project). One of them will be devoted to lights in the engine compartment and lights for my license plate holder screws. (mwahahahaha) I think I'm going to paint my brake rotors and maybe something else I don't know....
This is the area I wanted to light up on all four doors but now only two:
The part circled in red is where the light will be.
More to come later on.
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LONG overdue post
Alright it's been over 2 weeks since my last update so here it goes.
Things have been going decently, the green plan is taking shape as I read through books and watch planet green with the Dad-it's important that I'm starting on this now and have a few years to put together because going green the way I want to is complicated beyond belief. It's not an impossible feat however.
The latest addition to my plan is instead of running the house completly off the grid I want a system that ties in to the grid in a reverse manner. That way my solar arrays will be generating power for the house and putting excess power on the grid that is clean and renewable-and helping my check book in the process. It's going to be nice to have the power company pay me for my power instead of the other way around.
On a weekly basis with time spent at home, at work, and at the girlfriends I threw a lot of crap away. More than I really want to admit but here it is directly from the record book:
Totals for One Week:
9 Nutrigrain Bar Wrappers
12 gum wrappers
2 Styrofoam Dinner Containers
10 sheets of paper (recycled)
14 chewed pieces of gum
20 Kleenex's
18 Q-Tips
15 Pepsi Cans (Recycled)
20 Root Beer Barrel Wrappers
15 Paper Towels
8 Reece Cup Wrappers and 2 containing wrappers
5 Card Board Boxes (Recycled)
6 HoHo Wrappers
1 Paper Bag
6 Plastic Salsa Containers (Recycled)
3 Plastic Forks (Recycled)
3 Plastic Knives (Recycled)
3 Plastic Spoons (Recycled)
4 Paper Plates
For one person, this list is pretty extensive and since the completion of the week I was recording I've mad several changes to my every day habits. For starters instead of using plastic silverware at work for my lunch and a paper plate, I bought a microwave safe dinner plate and brought an old fork, knife, and spoon from home. I got them from the old dinner set my mother has that we almost never use. I've also stopped using paper plates at home, washing a dish when done the right way creates far less waste than a paper plate going in to the trash-not to mention the amount of money saved on throw away plates and silverware. I've stopped using paper towels for the most part. In certain places, like public restrooms and the like, it's next to impossible-unless there are hand dryers present. But when drying dishes or my hands I've used more towels than anything. This includes the dish washing I do at work and the drying of my hands when using the bathroom. I have two towels I bring in on Saturday morning and take with me Sunday afternoon. I then wash these towels with my work clothes every week before re-using them. I'm seriously considering buying 7-14 handkerchiefs and using them for my ever running nose instead of the constant barrage of Kleenex. If used properly a handkerchief can be a clean and almost waste free way of blowing one's nose.
My next project I am undertaking is to light up the speaker wells in all for doors of my car. I ordered 4 blue LEDs, and fighter jet switch, fuses and a fuse box. I'm going to take step by step pictures of the process and put them up here just because I think it's cool. I'm more than likely going to light up the grill, engine compartment, rear license plate bolts and maybe a light or two in the cargo area just because I can :D
Things with my lovely continue to get better and better each day. I have been so blessed and feel lucky beyond words. She lights up my life in every way possible. You're my favorite SWEET PEA!
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Things have been going decently, the green plan is taking shape as I read through books and watch planet green with the Dad-it's important that I'm starting on this now and have a few years to put together because going green the way I want to is complicated beyond belief. It's not an impossible feat however.
The latest addition to my plan is instead of running the house completly off the grid I want a system that ties in to the grid in a reverse manner. That way my solar arrays will be generating power for the house and putting excess power on the grid that is clean and renewable-and helping my check book in the process. It's going to be nice to have the power company pay me for my power instead of the other way around.
On a weekly basis with time spent at home, at work, and at the girlfriends I threw a lot of crap away. More than I really want to admit but here it is directly from the record book:
Totals for One Week:
9 Nutrigrain Bar Wrappers
12 gum wrappers
2 Styrofoam Dinner Containers
10 sheets of paper (recycled)
14 chewed pieces of gum
20 Kleenex's
18 Q-Tips
15 Pepsi Cans (Recycled)
20 Root Beer Barrel Wrappers
15 Paper Towels
8 Reece Cup Wrappers and 2 containing wrappers
5 Card Board Boxes (Recycled)
6 HoHo Wrappers
1 Paper Bag
6 Plastic Salsa Containers (Recycled)
3 Plastic Forks (Recycled)
3 Plastic Knives (Recycled)
3 Plastic Spoons (Recycled)
4 Paper Plates
For one person, this list is pretty extensive and since the completion of the week I was recording I've mad several changes to my every day habits. For starters instead of using plastic silverware at work for my lunch and a paper plate, I bought a microwave safe dinner plate and brought an old fork, knife, and spoon from home. I got them from the old dinner set my mother has that we almost never use. I've also stopped using paper plates at home, washing a dish when done the right way creates far less waste than a paper plate going in to the trash-not to mention the amount of money saved on throw away plates and silverware. I've stopped using paper towels for the most part. In certain places, like public restrooms and the like, it's next to impossible-unless there are hand dryers present. But when drying dishes or my hands I've used more towels than anything. This includes the dish washing I do at work and the drying of my hands when using the bathroom. I have two towels I bring in on Saturday morning and take with me Sunday afternoon. I then wash these towels with my work clothes every week before re-using them. I'm seriously considering buying 7-14 handkerchiefs and using them for my ever running nose instead of the constant barrage of Kleenex. If used properly a handkerchief can be a clean and almost waste free way of blowing one's nose.
My next project I am undertaking is to light up the speaker wells in all for doors of my car. I ordered 4 blue LEDs, and fighter jet switch, fuses and a fuse box. I'm going to take step by step pictures of the process and put them up here just because I think it's cool. I'm more than likely going to light up the grill, engine compartment, rear license plate bolts and maybe a light or two in the cargo area just because I can :D
Things with my lovely continue to get better and better each day. I have been so blessed and feel lucky beyond words. She lights up my life in every way possible. You're my favorite SWEET PEA!
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My Baby Gets Me
Yesterday when I arrived at my darling's place of residence she surprised me with two gifts. Green Living for Dummies and Green Building & Remodeling for Dummies :D
I've been on such a green kick latley with no sign of it stopping and for once the woman I'm with instead of just going along with me or ignoring my interest actually thought about me and bought me the sweetest surprise I've gotten in a long time. So what? It's just books... is what you are probably thinking right now-but it goes so much beyond just books it's impossible to describe.
Which also makes me realize how damn lucky I am to have her in my life. To have her care, support, kindness, and sincere concern for me is unbelievable and so undeserved sometimes (like when I get angry behind the wheel or am being overly stubborn or any other number of things). I just wanted to put this post up to say Thank You Jessica for everything you've done for me, everything you will do for me and most of all for just being here giving me someone to walk this road with- you really do mean the WORLD to me and that continues to grow each and every day.
Well after a long but productive day at the office I'm going to kick back and watch a movie, drink some water and close my eyes for a few.
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I've been on such a green kick latley with no sign of it stopping and for once the woman I'm with instead of just going along with me or ignoring my interest actually thought about me and bought me the sweetest surprise I've gotten in a long time. So what? It's just books... is what you are probably thinking right now-but it goes so much beyond just books it's impossible to describe.
Which also makes me realize how damn lucky I am to have her in my life. To have her care, support, kindness, and sincere concern for me is unbelievable and so undeserved sometimes (like when I get angry behind the wheel or am being overly stubborn or any other number of things). I just wanted to put this post up to say Thank You Jessica for everything you've done for me, everything you will do for me and most of all for just being here giving me someone to walk this road with- you really do mean the WORLD to me and that continues to grow each and every day.
Well after a long but productive day at the office I'm going to kick back and watch a movie, drink some water and close my eyes for a few.
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Green Machine
Today I took a trip with my Dad and Brother up to see my Great Grand Mother. She lives a good hour and a half away from us which gave me plenty of time to think about things not just in the Green area, and talk with my dad about a lot of it.
We started out the conversation about how incredibly awesome it's going to be to get out of bed in the morning and already be on campus at school and ready to take on the day. In all honesty the hour drive in rush hour traffic to school Monday through Friday was killing me. I was already exhausted by the time I parked the car no matter how loud the music was on the way there or how much caffeine I took in-the result was always complete exhaustion. I got in to West hall, the brand new and awesome looking dorm where most of the people I know are housed. Life is going to be good, regardless of my roommate situation although I think I'll be able to get along with him just fine. After all I have lived with my brother for the past 18 years (lol just kidding Eric). It's going to be freaking amazing to finally feel like I'm in college too, away from home family and everything I've known-although honestly Elmhurst feels like home too in a sad and strange kind of way. I am seriously so very excited for this fall, not only because I'm getting the hell out of dodge, but academically as well. I want to finish and start teaching already. Seriously, come on now....
Anyways talking Green wise is a major point of conversation around this house lately. Conservation, alternative fuels, everything. One of the main points I keep bringing up is getting off this petroleum necessity that has consumed the world. I'm driving a Toyota Matrix XRS and getting on average 27-28 MPG, which I am incredibly pleased with. I love my car and am very glad I went with the Matrix when I was looking at cars. BUT I still have to roll in to a gas station every week to fill her up with gas, and I refuse to put anything but premium in her to keep her running like new for as long as possible. 40 bucks a week in gas, which is better than most I know, and come this fall I won't be driving as much as everything I'll need to get to is within walking distance, including the girlfriend :)
Still, the thought of having to pay more than 6 dollars a gallon for gas makes me both sick to my stomach and pissed off, so my solution is less than 5 years buy one of these babies and get off my petroleum addiciton for good. That Truck, or SUT as it's referred to by the website will go 100 miles on a single 10 minute charge and has zero emmissions. IT IS 100% ELECTRIC and still goes 0-60 in under 10 seconds and has a top speed of 95 mph! A pickup truck that does not use gas...now that sounds like a badass machine to me. My next vehicle is going to be a Phoenix SUT in blue unless Toyota stops draggin their feet. The 2009 Chicago Auto Show is going to be a very interesting event, and I'm excited to see what all the big names will have in the ways of fuel conservation-I hope that I'm not disspointed.
My record of how much I'm putting in to the waste stream continues on schedule with day 2 being today. This coming Saturday edition will have that full report, as well as what we do aroudn this house to conserve and recycle and what I do aroudn my office to conserve and recycle, and will most likely be published on Sunday just so that I get the full 7 day record down. So far my lists are not as massive as I initially thought, but I'm sure my weeks tally will be enormous enough for me to have to make some changes-we will see though. I've also just decided that my account with INGdirect.com is now going to be my Green Savings Account, and every pay check I will divert as much money as possible in to it- saving today so that I have a stable and Greener tomorrow :D.
We started out the conversation about how incredibly awesome it's going to be to get out of bed in the morning and already be on campus at school and ready to take on the day. In all honesty the hour drive in rush hour traffic to school Monday through Friday was killing me. I was already exhausted by the time I parked the car no matter how loud the music was on the way there or how much caffeine I took in-the result was always complete exhaustion. I got in to West hall, the brand new and awesome looking dorm where most of the people I know are housed. Life is going to be good, regardless of my roommate situation although I think I'll be able to get along with him just fine. After all I have lived with my brother for the past 18 years (lol just kidding Eric). It's going to be freaking amazing to finally feel like I'm in college too, away from home family and everything I've known-although honestly Elmhurst feels like home too in a sad and strange kind of way. I am seriously so very excited for this fall, not only because I'm getting the hell out of dodge, but academically as well. I want to finish and start teaching already. Seriously, come on now....
Anyways talking Green wise is a major point of conversation around this house lately. Conservation, alternative fuels, everything. One of the main points I keep bringing up is getting off this petroleum necessity that has consumed the world. I'm driving a Toyota Matrix XRS and getting on average 27-28 MPG, which I am incredibly pleased with. I love my car and am very glad I went with the Matrix when I was looking at cars. BUT I still have to roll in to a gas station every week to fill her up with gas, and I refuse to put anything but premium in her to keep her running like new for as long as possible. 40 bucks a week in gas, which is better than most I know, and come this fall I won't be driving as much as everything I'll need to get to is within walking distance, including the girlfriend :)
Still, the thought of having to pay more than 6 dollars a gallon for gas makes me both sick to my stomach and pissed off, so my solution is less than 5 years buy one of these babies and get off my petroleum addiciton for good. That Truck, or SUT as it's referred to by the website will go 100 miles on a single 10 minute charge and has zero emmissions. IT IS 100% ELECTRIC and still goes 0-60 in under 10 seconds and has a top speed of 95 mph! A pickup truck that does not use gas...now that sounds like a badass machine to me. My next vehicle is going to be a Phoenix SUT in blue unless Toyota stops draggin their feet. The 2009 Chicago Auto Show is going to be a very interesting event, and I'm excited to see what all the big names will have in the ways of fuel conservation-I hope that I'm not disspointed.
My record of how much I'm putting in to the waste stream continues on schedule with day 2 being today. This coming Saturday edition will have that full report, as well as what we do aroudn this house to conserve and recycle and what I do aroudn my office to conserve and recycle, and will most likely be published on Sunday just so that I get the full 7 day record down. So far my lists are not as massive as I initially thought, but I'm sure my weeks tally will be enormous enough for me to have to make some changes-we will see though. I've also just decided that my account with INGdirect.com is now going to be my Green Savings Account, and every pay check I will divert as much money as possible in to it- saving today so that I have a stable and Greener tomorrow :D.
Saturday Thoughts
Saturday Thoughts
July 12th, 2008
First Green Edition
July 12th, 2008
First Green Edition
Just took a break from a very busy day at the office with my weekend job and decided it would be a good time for Saturday Thoughts. This week for Saturday thoughts I really wanted to touch on Going Green. This will most likely be the first of many Saturday Thought Editions that touch on this topic as it has quickly become a big part of my life, thoughts and obsessions. I've spent many hours this past week coming up with a detailed outline of what I would need to live a sustainable life once I have a place of my own. A plan that drew out exactly how I was going to use photovoltaics, rain water collection, water recycling, recycling of everything possible, all the materials and items I would need and a step by step plan of how all of this was going to tie in to my house, vehicle and everyday life.
The outline is coming along slowly but surely and when I am happy with it and feel it is pretty well rounded I'll post it up here. The research is actually a lot of fun to me as well as time consuming-there is a TON of things out there (as you can imagine like everything on the internet). I have yet to find things that seem bogus, impossible or completely false yet aside from conflicting reports and calculations. Even the calculations are only off by a few digits. Needless to say, there is a lot of credible information out there on ways to make your whole dwelling green. The next step on my plan is to research codes and requirements for Chicago and the surrounding areas to make sure all of my items and ideas will be able to go in place legally-again I'll put it up here as soon as I am sure everything is right and attainable.
If you live in Chicago and want some excellent ideas the Museum of Science and Industry has a pretty awesome and decent exhibit called the "Green House". It has a huge amount of sustainable and AWESOME ways to build your house green-and many of them can be applied to existing structures too. Possibly the biggest point for me were dimmable LED lights ALL OVER THE PLACE. LED's put out an enormous amount of light, generate no heat, and consume the smallest amount of power possible. They almost do not register on a consumption meter! and they are super bright. A composter in the kitchen, bamboo counter tops, flooring and cabinets also made me hold my breath for a second or two. Bamboo grows insanely fast, is easy to cultivate anywhere, and is incredibly strong in any form. They even had blankets and towels made out of bamboo-and the blanket was soft to the touch and I'll bet was incredibly cozy. The home was heated and Air Conditioned with a radiant floor system. Instead of running the tubing through concrete, they ran it under the wood composite sub floor and used aluminum sheeting to help dissipate the hot and cold energy being circulated by the system-and only using 75 gallons the house was very cool and comfortable on a pretty warm summer day. All these things are now on my grand master green plan and will be-without a doubt- be integrated into my future home along with some improvements on the Museum's ideas.
If anyone has any questions or wants to collaborate via email: comment on here with your email or question and I will be sure to get back to you. The Green Movement is not and CAN NOT be a fad, we all need to do something to be less harmful to our planet. Even just starting to recycle your paper products would be an excellent help!
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Saturday Thoughts
I'd like to start this weeks edition of Saturday thoughts off with yet again something about driving. Driving consumes a lot of our time and energy from day to day, after all in order to do most things in our lives it involves travel of some sort even for a short distance. Most of this travel is done via personal vehicle.
My first thought is just about the same as last week. Drive 65 and stop being a jerk behind the wheel. We all have the power to be courteous and kind to each other and a responsibility to make sure that we and our fellow travelers have every chance of making it to and from their destination safely. Slow down, set the cruise or relax that lead foot and keep your vehicle moving at 65 mph at the most. The interstates are not race tracks, you ARE NOT Mario Andriette, your vehicle is not entered in the Indy 500. Seriously slow down. Not to mention the insane increase in MPG you will achieve. There is something about keeping your speed under 65 mph no matter what your driving that helps even the thirstiest engines consume less and become more efficient.
My second thought for the day has yet again to do with driving. Again we all have to do it, we all have places to go and people to see and we all want to get there safely-at least I hope we all do. So here is my challenge, while still maintaining safety behind the wheel, use a little kindness and let someone who has their turn signal on and is waiting patiently in front of you. The driver with their turn signal on that is not running people off the road deserves a favor. Let them over, slow down slightly, acknowledge to them some how and continue on.
This leads me to my next challenge. If someone lets you over on the expressway or on the streets, if someone goes slightly out of their way to help you out in some way, or even if someone smiles at you or is in any way nice to you. Do the same to three more people. Don't explain to them that they have to do this too, it will happen automatically. Not one, two, but THREE people. Tip a little extra, help someone drag a couch off their property that someone else very rudely left there. Pay it forward. An old concept being revived as of today.
A pretty amazing week once again. Spent a lot of time with the Angel in my life, walking, talking, sharing meals, coaching, and enjoying each others company. This year's fourth of July was the best 4th I have had in a very long time. It was low key and laid back, and wonderful :) Thank you Sweet Pea.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
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My first thought is just about the same as last week. Drive 65 and stop being a jerk behind the wheel. We all have the power to be courteous and kind to each other and a responsibility to make sure that we and our fellow travelers have every chance of making it to and from their destination safely. Slow down, set the cruise or relax that lead foot and keep your vehicle moving at 65 mph at the most. The interstates are not race tracks, you ARE NOT Mario Andriette, your vehicle is not entered in the Indy 500. Seriously slow down. Not to mention the insane increase in MPG you will achieve. There is something about keeping your speed under 65 mph no matter what your driving that helps even the thirstiest engines consume less and become more efficient.
My second thought for the day has yet again to do with driving. Again we all have to do it, we all have places to go and people to see and we all want to get there safely-at least I hope we all do. So here is my challenge, while still maintaining safety behind the wheel, use a little kindness and let someone who has their turn signal on and is waiting patiently in front of you. The driver with their turn signal on that is not running people off the road deserves a favor. Let them over, slow down slightly, acknowledge to them some how and continue on.
This leads me to my next challenge. If someone lets you over on the expressway or on the streets, if someone goes slightly out of their way to help you out in some way, or even if someone smiles at you or is in any way nice to you. Do the same to three more people. Don't explain to them that they have to do this too, it will happen automatically. Not one, two, but THREE people. Tip a little extra, help someone drag a couch off their property that someone else very rudely left there. Pay it forward. An old concept being revived as of today.
A pretty amazing week once again. Spent a lot of time with the Angel in my life, walking, talking, sharing meals, coaching, and enjoying each others company. This year's fourth of July was the best 4th I have had in a very long time. It was low key and laid back, and wonderful :) Thank you Sweet Pea.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
end of line.
Saturday Thoughts
Here's an experimental idea I've had in the back of my head for a while now. I do a lot of driving and a spend a decent amount of time alone in a quiet office which gives me plenty of time to think. I set this blog up initially so that I could share not only my experiences and have an outlet for rants but also to put up my ideas and opinions so here it goes: A weekly collection of thoughts and opinions from a less than perfect human being.
First and foremost let's discuss the oil crysis that is going on right now. Gas to hit 7 dollars a gallon in two years F@%^! I'm right there with you ladies and gentlemen, I recently bought a car and I love the thing immensely. It's a kick ass ride that is a blast to whip around with a great stereo. It's a 2.4L 4 cylinder Toyota Matrix XRS and is rated 19/29. I'm averaging 26-26mpg every time I fill up and here's how:
1. Cruise is your friend.
All you wanna be race car drivers out there need to slow down, drive 65 and leave it there. All the zig zagging and lead foot driving out there is not only safe but burns through your fuel tank at a much quicker rate than if you keep the car at constant speed and UNDER 70 mph. My father and I have both proven that the under 70 mph method not only helps return high averages of mpgs, but any speed between 65-70 gets you to your destination in a time efficent manner as well. No you can't leave your house with only 10 mins to drive 40 miles, so some time budgeting is required. Not to mention if everyone drove the speed limit or slightly above, emmisons and greenhouse gasses can be reduced significantly.
2. Walk
Get up off your butt every once in a while. If you can walk to the store, ride a bike, take the train: DO IT! Mass transit is not always the most convineint way to get around, living in Chicago all my life I understand this completly. BUT it saves you gas like none other, why? DUH because you're not driving. Simple solutions for complex problems. Oh and walking is good for you too, it's already started to change my pudge on my body :)
3. Turn your car off, stop idleing your vehicle
I see this all over the place and it drives me crazy. In the bitter cold Chicago winter or intensley hot summer I can sort of understand it, and I'm guilty as charged with this sometimes too. But seriously, sitting having your car idle for a long period of time is not good for several things. One is the environment, two is your car, and three is YOU. You may not realize it but there is an amount of fumes that gets back into your car when you are just sitting there with the engine running, windows opened or close does not matter. Air filters and all that does not matter, if there is no air flow to carry the fumes away they find their way into the cabin and now you are breathing an intesnly charged amount of polluted air-much more potent than the city air you breathe everyday anyway.
YES it is bad for your car! Your car is not designed to sit there idle forever. If there is not changes in pressure and combustion in your cylinders carbon builds up in them and then you've got huge problems, not to mention all the unnecessary heat, wear on your intake system, gear train, engine mounts, everything.
The environment just because why would you want to churn out more pollutants than need be?
Since I'm on a role with the environment here I'll continue. Recyle. Seriously, it's not that hard and YES it does make a difference. NO things that are in the proper recycle bin do not just end up in the landfill anyway. IT DOES MATTER.
Use a piece of paper front AND back before you toss it in the recycle bin. We do it at my office and it cuts paper waste by more than half! We print things that are not official documents on the backside of official documents that are not being used anymore. Essentially "scrap" paper is run through the same printer with the blank side up and viola! Two pieces of printed paper for the price of one. We mark the side that is old with a squiggle in pen so we can differentiate between the two.
Turn the freaking lights off, please. Around my house and my office I only have lights on that I absolutley must have on either for security reasons or if I'm working in a specific room. Also seriously, change your bulbs out from those pre-historic bulbs and use florescent or LED. Yes they cost slightly more when you buy them, but in the long run they can and WILL save thousands of dollars.
Quit smoking and drinking like you're invincible. You're not, get over yourself and grow up. An occasional cigar and or drink is totally fine but getting drunk off your ass just because you're in college and can? What are you 14?
All of you activits and "believers" should read the biblical text you keep refferring back to saying you are doing God's will. All of you claim to be doing it for "your God" when ultimatley we're all trying to get to the same place and please the same deity with a different name. Seriously stop killing each other, brainwashing your children, and smell the 21st century. Believe what you want when you want, no one is right the bible is too freaking old to be correct anymore and God is not as prominant in everyday life as we are led to believe. I believe in God, I really do-my life experience and blessings like my darling girlfriend are proof there has to be some higher power running the show. But maybe he/she/it just does not give that much of a shit about you as an individual, but the world as a whole. Love your neighbor as yourself is the greatest commandment given, why are we not obeying it more?
Finally stereotypes and ignorance. I've heard so many people bitching about how stereotypical society is and how stereotypes suck and blah blah blah. First off stop playing in to them. If you don't like the stereotype: ELIMINATE IT. Plain and simple, we are all in control of our actions and mouths-those of us without disorders-use some self control and get rid of the stereotypical behavior.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
end of line.
First and foremost let's discuss the oil crysis that is going on right now. Gas to hit 7 dollars a gallon in two years F@%^! I'm right there with you ladies and gentlemen, I recently bought a car and I love the thing immensely. It's a kick ass ride that is a blast to whip around with a great stereo. It's a 2.4L 4 cylinder Toyota Matrix XRS and is rated 19/29. I'm averaging 26-26mpg every time I fill up and here's how:
1. Cruise is your friend.
All you wanna be race car drivers out there need to slow down, drive 65 and leave it there. All the zig zagging and lead foot driving out there is not only safe but burns through your fuel tank at a much quicker rate than if you keep the car at constant speed and UNDER 70 mph. My father and I have both proven that the under 70 mph method not only helps return high averages of mpgs, but any speed between 65-70 gets you to your destination in a time efficent manner as well. No you can't leave your house with only 10 mins to drive 40 miles, so some time budgeting is required. Not to mention if everyone drove the speed limit or slightly above, emmisons and greenhouse gasses can be reduced significantly.
2. Walk
Get up off your butt every once in a while. If you can walk to the store, ride a bike, take the train: DO IT! Mass transit is not always the most convineint way to get around, living in Chicago all my life I understand this completly. BUT it saves you gas like none other, why? DUH because you're not driving. Simple solutions for complex problems. Oh and walking is good for you too, it's already started to change my pudge on my body :)
3. Turn your car off, stop idleing your vehicle
I see this all over the place and it drives me crazy. In the bitter cold Chicago winter or intensley hot summer I can sort of understand it, and I'm guilty as charged with this sometimes too. But seriously, sitting having your car idle for a long period of time is not good for several things. One is the environment, two is your car, and three is YOU. You may not realize it but there is an amount of fumes that gets back into your car when you are just sitting there with the engine running, windows opened or close does not matter. Air filters and all that does not matter, if there is no air flow to carry the fumes away they find their way into the cabin and now you are breathing an intesnly charged amount of polluted air-much more potent than the city air you breathe everyday anyway.
YES it is bad for your car! Your car is not designed to sit there idle forever. If there is not changes in pressure and combustion in your cylinders carbon builds up in them and then you've got huge problems, not to mention all the unnecessary heat, wear on your intake system, gear train, engine mounts, everything.
The environment just because why would you want to churn out more pollutants than need be?
Since I'm on a role with the environment here I'll continue. Recyle. Seriously, it's not that hard and YES it does make a difference. NO things that are in the proper recycle bin do not just end up in the landfill anyway. IT DOES MATTER.
Use a piece of paper front AND back before you toss it in the recycle bin. We do it at my office and it cuts paper waste by more than half! We print things that are not official documents on the backside of official documents that are not being used anymore. Essentially "scrap" paper is run through the same printer with the blank side up and viola! Two pieces of printed paper for the price of one. We mark the side that is old with a squiggle in pen so we can differentiate between the two.
Turn the freaking lights off, please. Around my house and my office I only have lights on that I absolutley must have on either for security reasons or if I'm working in a specific room. Also seriously, change your bulbs out from those pre-historic bulbs and use florescent or LED. Yes they cost slightly more when you buy them, but in the long run they can and WILL save thousands of dollars.
Quit smoking and drinking like you're invincible. You're not, get over yourself and grow up. An occasional cigar and or drink is totally fine but getting drunk off your ass just because you're in college and can? What are you 14?
All of you activits and "believers" should read the biblical text you keep refferring back to saying you are doing God's will. All of you claim to be doing it for "your God" when ultimatley we're all trying to get to the same place and please the same deity with a different name. Seriously stop killing each other, brainwashing your children, and smell the 21st century. Believe what you want when you want, no one is right the bible is too freaking old to be correct anymore and God is not as prominant in everyday life as we are led to believe. I believe in God, I really do-my life experience and blessings like my darling girlfriend are proof there has to be some higher power running the show. But maybe he/she/it just does not give that much of a shit about you as an individual, but the world as a whole. Love your neighbor as yourself is the greatest commandment given, why are we not obeying it more?
Finally stereotypes and ignorance. I've heard so many people bitching about how stereotypical society is and how stereotypes suck and blah blah blah. First off stop playing in to them. If you don't like the stereotype: ELIMINATE IT. Plain and simple, we are all in control of our actions and mouths-those of us without disorders-use some self control and get rid of the stereotypical behavior.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
end of line.
Update
Hello There! It's been a wonderful week, and I thought it time to update my blog before I call it a night and curl up for sleep.
Firstly, my flare up continues to make my life difficult and I found out the medicine I'm on for my condition has possible side affects that are identical to the symptoms it is supposed to be reliving me of.... I like my doctor and told him I would try an increase from 6 400mg tablets a day to 12 400mg tablets a day. 4800mg a day with this medicine and although i have noticed a slight difference in things that are good, there are a lot of problems that are more intense. After reading the info on this drug and thinking about it, I know understand why I've got pain in my chest, abdomen, joints, heart burn, and a whole long list of things. I always thought medicines were designed to treat symptoms not intensify them but apparently I'm wrong on that.
After one more week if things don't improve I'm going back to see Dr. J and I'm just going to have him give me the freaking injectable and call it a day. The thought of sticking myself every two weeks with this stuff is not all that appealing but if that's what it takes to start feeling like I"m living instead of just existing I'm all for it. The injectable is called Humira, and it seems like a very good option.
On to happier things now that I'm done ranting :) First and formost Jess and I are official. I am officially off the market. I'm taken and very very very happy about it! I made it official on Tuesday, June 24th 2008! She seriously makes me happier than I've ever known and being around her makes me feel sooo good and safe and strong-it feels better than playing music, scary thought huh? I can definitely see this going someplace amazing and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us and this incredible relationship :D!
Got an XM portable tuner and it's pretty freaking sweet! I can listen to my cubbies at work now :D and I know the guys around the office are going to appreciate hearing the game while they are in!
Speaking of Cubs: SWEEP! Now what White Sox fans? Win the world series once and you all act like the Sox are these incredible ball players. That happened 3 years ago now and you guys can't do it again..... It's our turn this year!
Eric and I went to our first night game at Wrigley Wednesday night and it was a blast! They won against Baltimore 7-4. In the words of my brother "Baltimore Sucks!" WOOT GO CUBS! The plan is to attend some more home games in the near future and get some people to go with us. Let me know if you want to and we'll get something going :D
In Eric's news: He had an interview today with the FAA over the phone! Lucky duck doesn't even have to get dressed for his interviews I simply could not believe it-but I am so very happy for him and hope very much that he gets the job!
end of line.
Firstly, my flare up continues to make my life difficult and I found out the medicine I'm on for my condition has possible side affects that are identical to the symptoms it is supposed to be reliving me of.... I like my doctor and told him I would try an increase from 6 400mg tablets a day to 12 400mg tablets a day. 4800mg a day with this medicine and although i have noticed a slight difference in things that are good, there are a lot of problems that are more intense. After reading the info on this drug and thinking about it, I know understand why I've got pain in my chest, abdomen, joints, heart burn, and a whole long list of things. I always thought medicines were designed to treat symptoms not intensify them but apparently I'm wrong on that.
After one more week if things don't improve I'm going back to see Dr. J and I'm just going to have him give me the freaking injectable and call it a day. The thought of sticking myself every two weeks with this stuff is not all that appealing but if that's what it takes to start feeling like I"m living instead of just existing I'm all for it. The injectable is called Humira, and it seems like a very good option.
On to happier things now that I'm done ranting :) First and formost Jess and I are official. I am officially off the market. I'm taken and very very very happy about it! I made it official on Tuesday, June 24th 2008! She seriously makes me happier than I've ever known and being around her makes me feel sooo good and safe and strong-it feels better than playing music, scary thought huh? I can definitely see this going someplace amazing and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us and this incredible relationship :D!
Got an XM portable tuner and it's pretty freaking sweet! I can listen to my cubbies at work now :D and I know the guys around the office are going to appreciate hearing the game while they are in!
Speaking of Cubs: SWEEP! Now what White Sox fans? Win the world series once and you all act like the Sox are these incredible ball players. That happened 3 years ago now and you guys can't do it again..... It's our turn this year!
Eric and I went to our first night game at Wrigley Wednesday night and it was a blast! They won against Baltimore 7-4. In the words of my brother "Baltimore Sucks!" WOOT GO CUBS! The plan is to attend some more home games in the near future and get some people to go with us. Let me know if you want to and we'll get something going :D
In Eric's news: He had an interview today with the FAA over the phone! Lucky duck doesn't even have to get dressed for his interviews I simply could not believe it-but I am so very happy for him and hope very much that he gets the job!
end of line.
It's Been A While
One of my favorite rocks songs of all time. "It's Been A While" by Staind :D
Anyways it really has been a while since I've updated this, I just really have not been in the mood to blog recently-but here it goes:
Everything is going fine for the most part, a few hiccups here and there but that's life-it's to be expected. I passed all of my classes and I officially have Junior status at Elmhurst, a dorm on campus this fall, and caring and amazerful almost very soon to be girlfriend. I still have my job despite all the time I've had to take off for school family and fun related things. I took the basic skills test which was a lot less scary than I thought it would be. I've started being serious about physical activity and have already noticed a difference in my body.
My health is another matter right now. My Crohns feels unstable and it looks like I may be switching medications and finally getting on something that is more powerful with less side affects than traditional drugs. I'll keep this updated at the least on what is going on with that, just in case any google searches on Crohns lands a hit on my blog. I've had Crohns and UC for a little over 3 years now, and I don't claim to be an expert but living with it does give a little bit of a different perspective.
My mother is still desperately trying to find work, and her desperation and frustration with herself is still bringing the energy of this household down but we're all hanging in there and trying to be supportive. Keeping her busy when she's not looking for jobs has proven tough and the task seems to have fallen on my shoulders while my Dad is at work-but I'm not complaining it keeps her in a better mood, we get stuff done around this house that drive me crazy, keeps me busy and active, and helps her keep her mind off things at least a little.
I am happy to report that the fishes, frogs, and snails are all doing well and are very healthy and happy! Even those doomed to die after a couple days my Dan (HA I WIN) I've had most of my fish over a year now and I am so proud at how well I've taken care of them. A little bit every couple of days keeps the tank healthy and the fish happy :D
To Jess:
I know I say this all the time but I want to say it again. You are seriously the light in my life, my rock, the reason behind my strength, determination, drive, and happiness. You have shown me a way of life that is so secure and steady I never could have dreamed would be this amazing. I've got such a good feeling about our future together, and yes we need to take things one step at a time, but as far as I'm concerned as of today- you are it Sweet Pea. You're the only one for me. And very soon my darling it's going to be official, and I can't wait for my plan to go in to action with asking you to make it official! :D MWAHAHAHAHAHA :D!
Anyways it really has been a while since I've updated this, I just really have not been in the mood to blog recently-but here it goes:
Everything is going fine for the most part, a few hiccups here and there but that's life-it's to be expected. I passed all of my classes and I officially have Junior status at Elmhurst, a dorm on campus this fall, and caring and amazerful almost very soon to be girlfriend. I still have my job despite all the time I've had to take off for school family and fun related things. I took the basic skills test which was a lot less scary than I thought it would be. I've started being serious about physical activity and have already noticed a difference in my body.
My health is another matter right now. My Crohns feels unstable and it looks like I may be switching medications and finally getting on something that is more powerful with less side affects than traditional drugs. I'll keep this updated at the least on what is going on with that, just in case any google searches on Crohns lands a hit on my blog. I've had Crohns and UC for a little over 3 years now, and I don't claim to be an expert but living with it does give a little bit of a different perspective.
My mother is still desperately trying to find work, and her desperation and frustration with herself is still bringing the energy of this household down but we're all hanging in there and trying to be supportive. Keeping her busy when she's not looking for jobs has proven tough and the task seems to have fallen on my shoulders while my Dad is at work-but I'm not complaining it keeps her in a better mood, we get stuff done around this house that drive me crazy, keeps me busy and active, and helps her keep her mind off things at least a little.
I am happy to report that the fishes, frogs, and snails are all doing well and are very healthy and happy! Even those doomed to die after a couple days my Dan (HA I WIN) I've had most of my fish over a year now and I am so proud at how well I've taken care of them. A little bit every couple of days keeps the tank healthy and the fish happy :D
To Jess:
I know I say this all the time but I want to say it again. You are seriously the light in my life, my rock, the reason behind my strength, determination, drive, and happiness. You have shown me a way of life that is so secure and steady I never could have dreamed would be this amazing. I've got such a good feeling about our future together, and yes we need to take things one step at a time, but as far as I'm concerned as of today- you are it Sweet Pea. You're the only one for me. And very soon my darling it's going to be official, and I can't wait for my plan to go in to action with asking you to make it official! :D MWAHAHAHAHAHA :D!
The School Year's End
Well Spring 2008 is officially over, I've got most of my grades and there is no more class to attend. I still have a lingering feeling of being overwhelmed with things to do even though when I stop to think for a second I know there's nothing; I kinda like the feeling of realizing all I have are semi-lazy days ahead of me for a good two months.
I can't honestly say I learned all that much academically this semester. Granted I learned how to play violin, viola, cello and upright bass-but honestly string instruments aside from their pickyness I find to be extremely easy to get the basics and even some advanced things down with very little practice time involved. I don't think I ever seriously got out one of the instruments and sat down to practice. Ever. String instruments have their own quirks, shortcomings, advantages, and all things in between-just like every other instrument out there. Quite honestly I find some of my Clarinet technique type things to be far more challenging than a string instrument. So what does that mean? That I'm a horrible Clarinet player and better at stringed instruments? Or that string instruments are just not that terribly hard? I'm hoping for option two, cause I've been playing clarinet for most of my life.
Which brings me to the list of things I've learned this year:
1. True friends have an amazing way of proving themselves to you, especially in a pinch. Those that don't truly care and are only around you for their own personal reasons get weeded out when faced with a drastic life situation. To those of you who were there to keep me cool and snap me back and keep me sane THANK YOU. Especially you sweet pea, like you said in your letter today: I really don't know where I would be without you.
2. Your family is your family for better or worse and to give up on them would be wrong-you only get one. However, it's okay to want space and keep your distance-especially if it's to protect yourself and your sanity.
3. Overall, the individual classes you take really don't matter that much in the grand scheme of a degree. Get through the stupid classes so that you are awarded that piece of paper that says "I demand a good salary and benefits and YOU have no choice in the matter"
4. Know what you want, if you don't know take time to slow down and figure it out.
5. NO ONE is worth being abused for. If all you get is a negative picture when with said person BAIL OUT. It's not doing either of you any good and just continues a cycle that should have been stopped a LONG TIME AGO.
6. No matter how attracted you are to a person despite their flaws and shortcoming, always make sure that said persons flaws and shortcomings are not going to destroy your life.
7. There really is such a thing as a mature, grounded, caring, loving, well grounded relationship and it CAN be achieved in the opposite sex despite what I've encountered before and the example I have at home. You both have to work at it though, but when it's with the right person the work becomes a natural course of action you don't even think about. It becomes less work and more something that just happens out of instinct.
8. Prayers really do get answered, guidance is truly given whether by God or someone or something else-but you have to open your eyes and ears and be acceptive of the answers and guidance otherwise you will be left cold and alone and feeling abandoned.
9. ANGELS DO EXIST
10. If ever there is a time in your life you would rather just end it all and give up, remember you are not just giving up on YOUR life but on the lives of the people you love and care for and vice versa. No matter how hard life gets, abandoning the people in your life is the most selfish and evil thing you could possibly do to a person you love. Carry on, it gets better-there are not ALWAYS trains sometimes there really is light at the end.
11. It's okay to say and know and feel that you need someone in your life in order to make it not only easier but more complete, more substantial. To be your compass and help hold you up in times of weakness.
12. The shitty things and relationships you go through. All the heart ache, pain, sleepless nights and rough times become worth it in the end. She comes bursting in to your life when you have given up all hope at your darkest hour and have just accepted that things will never change. When that point is reached, she comes in and turns your world upside down, shakes your heart loose of all it's despair and helps mend the broken bones so that you can stand on your own two feet, grab her hand, and weather the storms for her.
13. Jessica: You are seriously in my top 10 list of precious people in my life. You've shown me how to stand up and be a man, helped me take care of things I never thought I would ever shake, make me feel more alive and together than I ever thought possible, you've helped mend my broken bones, healed my wounds, and given my heart safe hands to rest in and feel loved. Thank you for all the patience, time, understanding, love, compassion and true caring you've shown me. You are one in a million bajillion sweet pea, and I seriously have the bestest feeling about us. I never want to leave your side. Ever. And I plan on sticking to you like glue for as long as you'll have me-especially if it's forever and a day :D
14. Finally, the most important things in your life are those that are consistently doing you good. Whether it be friends, family, school, a job, exercise or whatever. If it's not doing you good, then you're doing no good sticking with it. Cycles need to be broken, things need to change, the future of the planet depends on it.
There may be more, but I'll post them later.
Brookfield zoo tomorrow! WOOT :D! I am SO EXCITED!
end of line.
I can't honestly say I learned all that much academically this semester. Granted I learned how to play violin, viola, cello and upright bass-but honestly string instruments aside from their pickyness I find to be extremely easy to get the basics and even some advanced things down with very little practice time involved. I don't think I ever seriously got out one of the instruments and sat down to practice. Ever. String instruments have their own quirks, shortcomings, advantages, and all things in between-just like every other instrument out there. Quite honestly I find some of my Clarinet technique type things to be far more challenging than a string instrument. So what does that mean? That I'm a horrible Clarinet player and better at stringed instruments? Or that string instruments are just not that terribly hard? I'm hoping for option two, cause I've been playing clarinet for most of my life.
Which brings me to the list of things I've learned this year:
1. True friends have an amazing way of proving themselves to you, especially in a pinch. Those that don't truly care and are only around you for their own personal reasons get weeded out when faced with a drastic life situation. To those of you who were there to keep me cool and snap me back and keep me sane THANK YOU. Especially you sweet pea, like you said in your letter today: I really don't know where I would be without you.
2. Your family is your family for better or worse and to give up on them would be wrong-you only get one. However, it's okay to want space and keep your distance-especially if it's to protect yourself and your sanity.
3. Overall, the individual classes you take really don't matter that much in the grand scheme of a degree. Get through the stupid classes so that you are awarded that piece of paper that says "I demand a good salary and benefits and YOU have no choice in the matter"
4. Know what you want, if you don't know take time to slow down and figure it out.
5. NO ONE is worth being abused for. If all you get is a negative picture when with said person BAIL OUT. It's not doing either of you any good and just continues a cycle that should have been stopped a LONG TIME AGO.
6. No matter how attracted you are to a person despite their flaws and shortcoming, always make sure that said persons flaws and shortcomings are not going to destroy your life.
7. There really is such a thing as a mature, grounded, caring, loving, well grounded relationship and it CAN be achieved in the opposite sex despite what I've encountered before and the example I have at home. You both have to work at it though, but when it's with the right person the work becomes a natural course of action you don't even think about. It becomes less work and more something that just happens out of instinct.
8. Prayers really do get answered, guidance is truly given whether by God or someone or something else-but you have to open your eyes and ears and be acceptive of the answers and guidance otherwise you will be left cold and alone and feeling abandoned.
9. ANGELS DO EXIST
10. If ever there is a time in your life you would rather just end it all and give up, remember you are not just giving up on YOUR life but on the lives of the people you love and care for and vice versa. No matter how hard life gets, abandoning the people in your life is the most selfish and evil thing you could possibly do to a person you love. Carry on, it gets better-there are not ALWAYS trains sometimes there really is light at the end.
11. It's okay to say and know and feel that you need someone in your life in order to make it not only easier but more complete, more substantial. To be your compass and help hold you up in times of weakness.
12. The shitty things and relationships you go through. All the heart ache, pain, sleepless nights and rough times become worth it in the end. She comes bursting in to your life when you have given up all hope at your darkest hour and have just accepted that things will never change. When that point is reached, she comes in and turns your world upside down, shakes your heart loose of all it's despair and helps mend the broken bones so that you can stand on your own two feet, grab her hand, and weather the storms for her.
13. Jessica: You are seriously in my top 10 list of precious people in my life. You've shown me how to stand up and be a man, helped me take care of things I never thought I would ever shake, make me feel more alive and together than I ever thought possible, you've helped mend my broken bones, healed my wounds, and given my heart safe hands to rest in and feel loved. Thank you for all the patience, time, understanding, love, compassion and true caring you've shown me. You are one in a million bajillion sweet pea, and I seriously have the bestest feeling about us. I never want to leave your side. Ever. And I plan on sticking to you like glue for as long as you'll have me-especially if it's forever and a day :D
14. Finally, the most important things in your life are those that are consistently doing you good. Whether it be friends, family, school, a job, exercise or whatever. If it's not doing you good, then you're doing no good sticking with it. Cycles need to be broken, things need to change, the future of the planet depends on it.
There may be more, but I'll post them later.
Brookfield zoo tomorrow! WOOT :D! I am SO EXCITED!
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Weekend Report
Well it's been a week since I've posted. I've been so busy with school and the lovely and so very tired I havn't felt much like typing anything out but here we go.
Just a general week with school etc. I got a 87 on my Ear Training test! Something that almost never happens and private lessons are coming along nicely.
Thursday I spent most of the day with the beautiful one just hanging out.
Friday we went to Cantingy park. For those of you who don't know it's a 500 acre plot of land just west of Wheaton IL that used to belong to General McCormick and is now a arboretum with two museums on site. The first museum is a war museum in honor of those that have fought in every war this country and been involved in. They cover everything from the revolutionary war era all the way up to Dday. Okay, so almost every war. There's been a few new ones in my lifetime that have yet to be added and I don't think they will.
Here are some pictures from Cantingy:
Kisses are one of my favorite things
The McCormick Mansion
The view from the side of the McCormick Mansion
Ahhh Victory! After a daring climb :)
My Victory Climb Pose.
Random Tree Face
Then it was back to the house for a quick power nap and then a food run. She sat me down after dinner and we watched Lord of the Rings movie 1 which I had only seen bits and pieces of before. It was amazing! and it helped that I had someone next to me that knew about the movie inside and out to answer questions I had. I never really got into them until now because I had a hard time following them but no worries with that anymore!
So that's it for the Weekend Report
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Just a general week with school etc. I got a 87 on my Ear Training test! Something that almost never happens and private lessons are coming along nicely.
Thursday I spent most of the day with the beautiful one just hanging out.
Friday we went to Cantingy park. For those of you who don't know it's a 500 acre plot of land just west of Wheaton IL that used to belong to General McCormick and is now a arboretum with two museums on site. The first museum is a war museum in honor of those that have fought in every war this country and been involved in. They cover everything from the revolutionary war era all the way up to Dday. Okay, so almost every war. There's been a few new ones in my lifetime that have yet to be added and I don't think they will.
Here are some pictures from Cantingy:
The Angel and pretty flowers!
Kisses are one of my favorite things
The McCormick Mansion
The view from the side of the McCormick Mansion
Ahhh Victory! After a daring climb :)
My Victory Climb Pose.
Random Tree FaceThe place is huge and has a TON of gardens and places to picnic. We are going back again once everything is totally planted and blooming.
Then it was back to the house for a quick power nap and then a food run. She sat me down after dinner and we watched Lord of the Rings movie 1 which I had only seen bits and pieces of before. It was amazing! and it helped that I had someone next to me that knew about the movie inside and out to answer questions I had. I never really got into them until now because I had a hard time following them but no worries with that anymore!
So that's it for the Weekend Report
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The Weekend Post
Sweet Pea and Me
In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.
The above quote is taken from the movie fight club. It's a favorite movie of my brother's and mine, and seems to fit more and more in our current predicament than ever-at least it does to me.
Unless something drastic happens that I need to get up on here right away I'm' going to fit all of Friday Saturday and Sunday into one long post. The weekends are usually less action packed for me and I don't feel like doing much of anything (with the exception of Friday)
Friday:
Just a typical Friday at school. I had to skip string tech to finish my Theory project but I got everything done and it was as right as possible.
Spent another wonderful afternoon/evening with the lovely. We had dinner with her parents and had some good conversation and a delicious sausage dish. Then off to the woodfield for fries, a walk, some shopping, and lots of holding hands and kisses :) Then back to the house for cuddling and falling asleep on the comfy couch :D
Friday night once I got home and was in my own bed and once again unconscious I had the strangest dream I've had in a long time. Strange enough to make me uncomfortable all of Saturday and even some on Sunday. The most vivid images that are still sitting in the front of my head are for some reason all of my teeth where falling out, only instead of it happening tooth by tooth they came in groups of three along with the gums. Or they came in slivers and parts of teeth still attached to the top of my gums. Section by section I pulled out most of the teeth in my mouth and the sadness that came over me when I looked in a mirror and smiled was sickening. I kept thinking, in the dream that is, that Jess would never want me to smile again and that I would never want to smile at all ever again. Now I don't know if that is my subconscious telling me to go to the dentist to get a cleaning that is well overdue or what it is but man it was freaky and gross :(
Saturday just work and home to work on my fish tanks. Saturday was the first day I've walked to work since basically November. I started here at Prairie Shore in September after working for a long year at Walgreen's. This place kicks ass, and even though I've made some mistakes along the way this job is easy and pays well. Everyone is super nice here as well, and I pretty much can do what I want when no one is around.
Both the frog tank and the fish tank are clean and the inhabitants are happy :) I bought a sludge extractor from petsmart which does wonders in both tanks helping get poop and algae up and out of the gravel without having to dump all the water out of the tank and rinse the gravel by hand. It is less disturbing to the fish as well, because they stay in the tank the whole time, not to mention it keeps the natural bacteria in the gravel and the tank which keeps the cycle efficient. Best 50 bucks I've ever spent on my hobby, and it's pretty cool and fun to use too :) I bought it in the store but here is the link for what you're looking for if you decide to buy one. I haven't tried any others just simply because I feel there is no reason to.
Sunday has been pretty un-eventful so far, just got done eating lunch and there isn't a whole lot to do around here. I suppose I should start working on my transcription that is due Tuesday but it's hard to do those without a piano. Tomorrow needs to kick ass all across the board. After band I need to get some recording done, well a lot of recording. I need to practice, try to get in to West Hall, dinner with the lovely and more things I'm probably forgetting (lol) It'll all get done though.
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On the way to work Saturday as I was walking down Leavitt I heard this amazing noise above my head. It was a bird, I'm not sure of the species, pecking and chasing a squirrel out of it's home and not letting up. The squirrel ran down a power line, being pecked by the bird and jumped on to the roof of a garage. In proportions, the squirrel was easily 4 times bigger than this bird, although the ability to fly gave the bird a clear advantage. Now the significance of this is there are so many times where I feel like I'm that bird trying to keep other people from stealing me or trying to destroy things I've been working so hard to keep together and survive. I'm sure we've all had these moments where we filled the role of the bird and someone or something else filled the role of the squirrel. It kinda made me feel like even though there is a few things going on right now that seem like they are 4 times bigger than I am, as long as I keep fighting and pushing forward those squirrels don't stand a chance.
Another thought I've had over the past couple of days is about fuel and driving and just general energy consumption. It bothers me that more isn't being done about the energy crisis happening right now, but what is being done is a start and a definite step in the right direction. Now we all need to take more than a step or two steps but an entire walk in this same direction. In 2008, why are we still so dependent on fossil fuels? Because of greed, laziness, and any other excuse that you can throw on here. It's past time to start changing things. Now I'm guilty as charged just as much as the next guy, but in my defense I'm concious of the things I throw away, how much I'm driving, the water I use, the electricity I use and thensome. Something I wish everyone would start doing. Don't throw the glass bottle you bought just in to the trash, put it in the bin that is right next to the trash can. If there isn't a recycle bin around, then walk it down the two flights of stairs and PUT IT IN ONE. The same goes for plastics and Styrofoams and paper. There should be more recycle recepticals in place for sure, but I know for a fact that Elmhurst College has plenty of them around and it doesn't take much to put your recyclable into bin B instead of bin A. Batteries too, when batteries decay it's nasty-find your local spot to recycle those batteries and DO IT. Be conscious of how much you are driving, can you walk to where you need to go? Anything under 3 miles should be a no brainer, "yes I can walk that" of course there are exceptions to that such as weather and things but if you have the opportunity use it. You get exercise in along with helping reduce emissions.
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF. Especially in rooms you are leaving, like PRACTICE ROOMS. Come ON MUSIC MAJORS! During the day, especially at high noon there's no reason to turn lights on in rooms that have big windows in the first place. Use the natural light it's better for your eyes anyway. Unplug things you don't use, like computers and other electronics-or make sure they are plugged in to a switched surge bar-they are out there and not expensive at all GET ONE or two or three.
No one is perfect and I know that, God knows I'm not. But seriously, start using those brains otherwise by the time we are all thirty there isn't going to be much planet left to dwell on...........
First Day of being a Teacher-kinda (Teaching 6th Grade at Emerson Elementary)
This morning was amazing to say the least. It started out as a regular day, sitting in the frick center with my dearest and finishing up some last minute homework over breakfast. The last minute homework this morning was a poster board that demonstrated the rhythm the bongos play according to the Batucada style of music. This board was used in a 6th grade music class at Emerson Elementary.
I met my group in the Lobby of Irion hall, had to rush to print the fact sheet I had put together out and got in my car and off we went. On the way there, while driving through Bellwood, I got pulled over for doing 52 in a 30. Strangely I'm pretty sure I did no more than 40 the entire trip but whatever.
Finally reached the school and now really had to rush to get myself together and present to this energetic and bright eyed group of 6th graders. I got through it, nervous and sweating, but I got through it and it ended up being a great time with the kids participating and laughing and dancing around the room and just generally having a great time with us.
Then back to school for a trio rehearsal that was really rocking most of the time. The three of us were decently solid with the music today, with a few mistakes of course. For the most part though, we had things together and once again I nailed a lot of the things that have been giving me trouble and tripping my fingers up for almost 2 years now.
It feels good to finally feel like I'm taking steps in the general direction of a good way. I have to admit I was really apprehensive about being a Music Ed Major since I decided to go in to it my senior year in High School. But seriously, after teaching that group of 6th graders, have them pay attention and really understand the concepts the five of us were teaching them gave me such a good feeling. A feeling of excitement and joy and general pride in these students-even though we were their teachers only for 30 mins.
Needless to say, now that things finally feel like they are sliding in to place both in my academic life and my romantic/social life the apprehension I've been feeling is almost gone. I don't think it will ever dissapear, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It will help me keep in mind that days like yesterday and today are the reason why I'm here and I'm working and I will finish my degree no matter how tough things get-be it health wise or any other way, this feeling of success even at the smallest level has given me a second wind of encouragement, enthusiasm, determination and drive.
On the health front, I went to see my Doctor today accompanied by my lovely. Everything seems, according to him like it will work itself out and my liver will calm the heck down before it self destructs. I have a small amount of fat on my liver which isn't helping things but that's easily taken care of with exercise and continuing to make healthy choices in the caf.
So my license has dissapeared once again, but overall and wonderful day for the second time in a row! I'll get my license back and just take the hit on my insurance, I shouldn't have been speeding and I know it running late or not. My dad said my new car was going to get my in to trouble and he was right (lol) way to call it and give me back luck dad..............
Getting pulled over this morning, while running late and already nervous I think was like the ultimate test for a first time teaching. I mean I was already nervous to begin with, running late which made me a little agitated and anxious, and then getting pulled over shook me up (it was the first time I had ever been pulled over [4 years of driving and a spotless record]) I kept it together though, my composure wasn't perfect by any means but it was together enough to teach a decently successful lesson and have a good time doing it. While I was teaching the kids in the small group I had, I forgot completely about the ticket and everything that had happened and was able to just focus on the incredible group of kids in front of me.
end of line.
I met my group in the Lobby of Irion hall, had to rush to print the fact sheet I had put together out and got in my car and off we went. On the way there, while driving through Bellwood, I got pulled over for doing 52 in a 30. Strangely I'm pretty sure I did no more than 40 the entire trip but whatever.
Finally reached the school and now really had to rush to get myself together and present to this energetic and bright eyed group of 6th graders. I got through it, nervous and sweating, but I got through it and it ended up being a great time with the kids participating and laughing and dancing around the room and just generally having a great time with us.
Then back to school for a trio rehearsal that was really rocking most of the time. The three of us were decently solid with the music today, with a few mistakes of course. For the most part though, we had things together and once again I nailed a lot of the things that have been giving me trouble and tripping my fingers up for almost 2 years now.
It feels good to finally feel like I'm taking steps in the general direction of a good way. I have to admit I was really apprehensive about being a Music Ed Major since I decided to go in to it my senior year in High School. But seriously, after teaching that group of 6th graders, have them pay attention and really understand the concepts the five of us were teaching them gave me such a good feeling. A feeling of excitement and joy and general pride in these students-even though we were their teachers only for 30 mins.
Needless to say, now that things finally feel like they are sliding in to place both in my academic life and my romantic/social life the apprehension I've been feeling is almost gone. I don't think it will ever dissapear, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It will help me keep in mind that days like yesterday and today are the reason why I'm here and I'm working and I will finish my degree no matter how tough things get-be it health wise or any other way, this feeling of success even at the smallest level has given me a second wind of encouragement, enthusiasm, determination and drive.
On the health front, I went to see my Doctor today accompanied by my lovely. Everything seems, according to him like it will work itself out and my liver will calm the heck down before it self destructs. I have a small amount of fat on my liver which isn't helping things but that's easily taken care of with exercise and continuing to make healthy choices in the caf.
So my license has dissapeared once again, but overall and wonderful day for the second time in a row! I'll get my license back and just take the hit on my insurance, I shouldn't have been speeding and I know it running late or not. My dad said my new car was going to get my in to trouble and he was right (lol) way to call it and give me back luck dad..............
Getting pulled over this morning, while running late and already nervous I think was like the ultimate test for a first time teaching. I mean I was already nervous to begin with, running late which made me a little agitated and anxious, and then getting pulled over shook me up (it was the first time I had ever been pulled over [4 years of driving and a spotless record]) I kept it together though, my composure wasn't perfect by any means but it was together enough to teach a decently successful lesson and have a good time doing it. While I was teaching the kids in the small group I had, I forgot completely about the ticket and everything that had happened and was able to just focus on the incredible group of kids in front of me.
end of line.
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