These past three weeks have gone by in a blur as time spent doing what I want to do often does. Monday marks the start of J-term, which is not too bad considering I only have one class 4 days a week for 3 hours a day for the next four weeks. I'm taking percussion tech and I've heard it's an awesome class and I am definitely looking forward to it. Being able to see Jessie every day is an amazing thought as well, I do miss having her in my day to day life.
Thankfully this years holiday's and break went by without too much drama, screaming, yelling, cussing, throwing things- basically nothing usual. It was nice to have a quiet and relaxing Christmas (for the most part) and aside from being sick as a dog the past couple of days New Year's eve and day were filled with painting, games with the brother, chats with the dearest and relaxation-which I can never complain about.
Monday after lunch I'm going to start making phone calls and getting to the bottom of my liver problems. I also need to see a GP about these persistent headaches and general congestion that just does not seem to go away no matter what I do. The strongest OTC decongestant I can find does absolutely nothing to tame my sinuses so another doctors appointment aside from my liver/crohns is definitely in the near future. I'm so sick and tired of feeling awful all the time and J-term seems like the ideal time to get the reigns on all of this.
My airbrush continues to be awesome, and the more I use it the better I'm getting at controlling it and making it do what I want. The only downside to moving back to school is having to wait till the weekend to use it-a sacrifice I think I can handle until May :) I started working on painting my laptop and it didn't turn out quite the way I had hoped-so I'm going to strip it down again and start over once I get some more paint. I didn't clear coat it or finish it in any way so the paint rubs off pretty easily. I need to take the keyboard and inside cover apart to get this to work, a task I'm not looking forward to but the finish product should look pretty sweet. I plan on repainting a black base coat and then putting the neon orange over it giving it a carbon-fiber look on the inside around the touch pad and keyboard. The top cover is going to get another coat of base black, with orange carbon fiber around the boarder and in the center I'm not sure quite what I want to do yet. Definitely a mural of some sort-the original plan was to make a lightning bolt streaking across it. Maybe streak lighting across the whole top of the laptop? There is an accent piece that I can't get off that would break the lighting up-hmmm decisions decisions.....
So now I have a question for those of you who are kind enough to read through all my nonsense: How do you tell someone you love, someone that has done wonders for you-she's not only alienated you but your brother as well and makes us both want to never come around again? It's so hard to watch and listen to my brother take flack that is sort of merited but blown way out of proportion. And for me I'm just sick and tired of busting my ass and getting both "you're a wonderful kid and a hard worker" but then getting slapped across the face at the same time. It's confusing, irritating, and getting to the point where I just can't do it anymore-I can't risk the stress with my health and I just straight up don't have time to babysit and deal with someone who should be acting her age. Something is going on emotionally with her, and it's obvious there's a void she is trying to fill, but in doing so she's pushed me, my brother and some others away. So here's my question: do we confront her, do I tell her these things knowing full well it's just going to blow up in my face and become my fault somehow? Or do I just let it ride and walk on eggshells for the next two to three years until I can finally put a ton of distance between me and said person? I just don't know what to do, to be honest. This seems like it may be a simple situation, but I just can't get my head around that right now-I hate when things blow up in my face that I could have prevented. But at the same time I've always been one to just plow through situations, both good and bad, and not hesitate or try to skirt around them...... Ugh I just need to get back in school.
end of line
0 comments
Post a Comment