First week of school officially done! It feels so very good to be back in class and at Elmhurst and to not have to commute! It's amazing how cutting out an hour and a half commute (one way) boosted my energy, gave me much more time for studies and relaxing, not to mention spending time with my dearest and my friends.
The work load this semester is by far the worst I've had yet. Music history alone is going to take up a lot of time, hopefully we'll get a group together and get it down as a team. The encounters alone are going to kill us, not to mention the reading and the research etc etc. I'm enjoying learning about music history though, as I've never had an official class or anything on it.
Falling asleep next to my Jess is still a work in progress but amazing none the less. She's the most adorable thing ever as far as I'm concerned, and really cuddly too when she's not beating me up in her sleep (cough cough lol) It's good practice for the future, and there should defiantly be no surprises if I'm lucky enough to have her hand later on in life.
I just bought the mp3 download of Finzi's Five Bagatels this morning as I've been itching to hear it again. I played the first movement for a Jury and loved the pice as difficult as it was. The rest of his work is beautiful as well and with the office to myself right now it's cranked. I also downloaded his Three Soliloquies which again is amazing. Classical music has taken on a whole new form for me I think.
I made Wind Ensemble this year too! Which I am totally amazed, excited and terrified about. It's going to be a serious challenge and I know I can handle it, it's for sure uncharted territory around EC though, I'm looking forward to a change in pace though. I love playing under Ross, but a chance to play under a different director while still in College is something that is hard to pass up-not to mention the competition is tough to get in the wind ensemble. There has already been an attempt at trying to get me out of it through rumors and what have you-but it's not going to stop or discourage me from this. If I get removed from the Wind Ensemble it's going to be because I simply cannot handle it, and that will be by my own doing. I really cannot stand to be messed with like this, however petty and immature this person's actions are it's not something I can just overlook. I'm not going to be vicious or mean about anything, but I'm not going to roll over either.
It's good to see my brother again, and it was fun playing some TF2 with him last night. I'm looking forward to getting home so we can play some more and hang out. Jess' brother comes home from boot camp as a Marine Monday and I am SO EXCITED for her and him! It's an accomplishment of a lifetime for him and I know seeing her little brother will make my favorite person in the world a very happy girl.
end of line.
Finally living out of the house
Day 3 on campus and I am loving it. It feels so good not to have driven an hour and a half in the morning knowing I have a full day ahead of me with lots of work to do as well as spend time with the important people around here. My roommate is cool although I almost never see him (mostly by my own fault) and the two guys next door seem cool too. Jess's room is amazing and comfortable and her suite mates are all really nice and sweet.
My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
end of line.
My car has not moved from the spot I left it in Sunday morning! I love to drive that thing but with the price of gas and the stress that is induced with being behind the wheel I seriously feel relieved that I don't have to go very far to be home-at least for the week. I'll be driving home every weekend but still I'm relaxed, able to focus a whole lot more in class, able to stay awake in class, and I'm able to get organized and actually get things done for a change. It seriously feels like a weight has been lifted off of my whole body.
Being able to fall next to my sweetest is also an amazing thing. She's seriously the most adorable and gorgeous thing I have ever seen or curled up next to. The bed is a little small for two people to sleep in but it will do for now. I love waking up and having her next to me and not have to worry if someone is going to walk in and yell at us or whatever. The 32 inch television I bought is a nice touch to her room too :)
So now I'm just sitting in my quiet dorm room enjoying the afternoon, debating whether or not I should go sit outside in the sun and read some or just relax for an hour until Jess gets out of work. Living in the new dorm is amazing, everything is so nice, it seriously feels like living in a hotel.
end of line.
Weekly Update
6 days and counting until the great move. I'm a mix of excited, leary, and impatient all at the same time. Excited because it's a big step in the right direction with my life, it will help me focus better at school and save money and time. Time especially that will help me get closer to my friends, I'm tired of being so distant with people around me. I want to get to know J, James, Mickie, Jen and Dave more closely. Living on campus and being around them more constantly is going to be awesome and I am soooooo looking forward to it.
In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
end of line.
In my last post I talked about anxiety of moving away, but last night as I was out watering the garden for my mom it hit me: I'm going to be coming home every weekend for work. At least every Saturday night, which has put me more at ease about moving out and all the stuff I have to accomplish before this coming Sunday. Things like make sure my room is spit spot clean, all my stuff is organized and all of that seem kind of pointless because I can always clean my room and organize it on a Saturday night or something. Although my overall plan is to get it extremely clean and organized for my parents sake before I leave, it's not like I'm going away for months at a time.
I am looking forward to sleeping next to my dearest every night, seeing her constantly, working together with her on homeowork and excercise and music and just life in general. It's exciting to think that we'll be un-officially sharing a space, and I think will be the clincher whether or not we are going to make it. Granted things down the road can come up, but I think if we can get living together down now everything else later will be a piece of cake.
I got the lights working in my car! Switch and everything. Although the switch I bought is totally wrong for the application it works just as well as anything else I could put in there. The last thing I have to do sometime this week is secure the switch in the pannel as it likes to pop out from time to time. A subtle modification that I put together myself, a major achievement as far as I'm concerned given the obstacles that came with such a simple project. The next things I'm going to want to do is paint my brake calipers, most likely red or yellow, and wrap the headers and exhaust to boost the power even though it will be slight. After that it will most likely be a cold air intake (a relatively simple change) even though I'm convinced changing the intake on my car will not give it that much more of a kick I've heard that even catback exhaust systems and things like that are not worth the money but we'll see. The exhuast wrapping makes sense though, as it will keep the engine compartment cooler and will make the exhaust gases move off the engine more efficiently-that is just simple physics.
Painting the brake calipers and wrapping the headers is a several day project which involves lifting the car off the ground, so we'll see if I have the room to do it either during christmas break, spring break or even next summer. I don't know what my Dad plans on doing with the empty space in the garage while I'm away at school, I'll prolly discuss that with him tonight at dins.
After I get all that done, starting this summer I'm going to try a do some autocross racing with it down in Joliett. It's a moderate speed precision driving race that looks and sounds like a blast. Just something I really want to try and get in to, I might as well do something with all the performance I paid for :D
end of line.
Weekly Update
Things continue to go smoothly even with the anticipation of the summer coming to a close and taking the first steps to a life on my own coming closer and closer. All of yesterday and today I can't help but feel like I'm going to miss the way things are and have been for the past 20 years. I'm always one to embrace positive life altering changes, but there are things I'm going to miss a lot. One of which is my city on days like today. Sunny, mildly warm with a cool breeze reminds me of days when I was so much younger and thought the world a much bigger place. Today especially reminds me of days I spent at home, with all the windows in the house open, some random record playing on the stereo and me and my family going about our various things just enjoying the feel of the nice day. Birthdays come and gone, mistakes I've made, positive things I've done and decisions both good and bad and how those decisions have shaped who I am as I sit here typing this today.
As much as I can't stand the congestion and noise of the city I do love it so. I love navagating the streets, riding my bike through the neighborhoods, knowing a store with everything I need is a simple ten minute walk from my doorstep-and even the noise. The sounds of the city is what I've fallen asleep to for the past 20 years even with the windows and doors closed-it is strange to sleep somewhere that doesn't have a quiet roar in the background.
I suppose all of these feelings are adolescent, and I should have been going through this two years ago instead of my Junior year in college. But that comes down to a choice I made, the choice to commute instead of move out at 18. The choice to stay and try and support my brother and family like I have for so long but yet branch out myself and have my own life-a choice that now I see is futile and near impossible. I NEED to get out, I NEED to create my own experiences and do things my way and learn all of these things. I am ready beyond belief, there is no doubt there-but I am going to miss all of this when I'm living 5 days a week in Elmhurst. Elmhurst in it's own right is a great town as well, I love walking around there, shopping there and the suburbs are really where my heart has wanted to be for a while now. Yes things are spread out, but the traffic is no where near as bad as in the city, teaching positions are often more productive in a burb with the right ingredients, and lets face it all of my friends now live out there-there's really no one left here. My brother is going to be leaving too, and as much as I love my parents to be home without him would feel very weird. Knowing that he won't be home for several months at a time while I sit and deal with the bs, the commute, and the general lone wolf syndrome I seem to have brought upon myself is something I can not do. I love my parents, but the circumstances at home have pushed me away pretty drastically right now, and they are so set in their ways I doubt things will change very much very soon. Having no kids in the house is going to rock their world as well, and I'm honestly really nervous how much not having me and my brother around is going to rock that house-I can see it shaking things up more than anything in our history as a family ever has-there will be no sounding boards, no buffers, no glue. I don't think I'm prepared to handle another fire in that house, especially not while studying and trying to get my life started and together. One thing is for sure though, extended family's bullshit will no longer be able to affect my life-not with someplace warm and safe to go to, and certainly not with Jess's warm, caring and affectionate arms to give me a way station for a while to recoupe.
The things I have seen and felt from her latley have been nothing short of amazing. She's come sooooo far on her flute in such a short time and I am SO PROUD of her. It's going to be great having her in band this fall! She continues to get more and more gorgeous each and every time she comes to the door to let me in, and adorable describes only a tiny part of how she is. All of my inhibitions, doubts, fears, weaknesses, vices, all the negative and dark inside me is quieting down. She has touched my life in so many ways and continues to help heal things that have been ripped in me from so long ago. I've said that I've never felt this way before to a lot of things and to a few people I wish I hadn't-but this time is so much different it is indescribable. She's given me so much calm inside, even my untameable temper has shut up and gone to sleep. It's nice to know I still got it just in case I need to protect her, but the demons and all the noise in the back of my head has subsided and continues to subside. My heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest, I've been able to keep focused on things I never thought I would focus on-I'm going to KICK ASS this fall :)
I could go on for hours about my Jessie, the way she makes me feel, what she does for me just being there without hidden motive (something I've never been able to believe about anyone ever before) and how she really is into me because she likes what I do for her too. I know I can be aggravating and I get pissy sometimes, but 99% of that isn't even directed or about her. All I want to do is take care of her, let her curl up someplace safe and warm, support her in everything she wants to do and lend my knowledge and ability with things that she needs help with. The balance between being a boyfriend and being overinvolved is hard, and its a fine line between the two-but with Jessie it's easy for me to see when she needs me to help and when she needs me to stand by and watch just in case something happens. Just to be there for support is something that seems to come naturally to both of us-because she doesn't even come close to smothering me either.
Even though I'm going to miss the way things are and have been, locations, people etc. The future looks bright and is exciting. It's not going to be a perfectly paved, smooth road but I really do feel like I can handle whatever comes at me, healthwise or other and there isn't a damn thing that can stop me from making my dreams a reality.
On a lighter note, my car lighting project continues to move along nicely. I thought it would be a one shot project but I should know better. I'm waiting on having the time to drive out and get a switch to power everything. My origional problems of finding a place to supply power to my lights is gone, I found an open fuse socket that has plenty of 12V power coming out of it, the only problem is it is not tied in with the ignition so the power is continuous hence putting a switch in. I either have to go to Grainger-if it's open to the public-or out to Desplaines/Mount Prospect to get a switch that will work and not look like I put a household switch in my car. Wednesday is when I plan on doing all this searching for a switch, and hopefully Wednesday night, when I get home from Jessie's, I will have this project all tied up and working like a champ :) Pictures of exactly what I did are below with descriptions.
After taking the door pannel off on both the driver's side and passanger's side, I used a drill bit that was slightly bigger than my LED to drill a hole through the top of the speaker well in a place that would give me enough room to bend the LED through the hole and anchor the mini circuit board the LED is tied in to.
I used simple electrical tape to anchor the board in place. I designed this entire system to be able to come out if I need to take my car in for repair-that way I don't void my warranty.
This is the anchor for my speaker which is the perfect ground for my LED. It's the only unpainted area of the door within reach of my light so:
I simply electrical taped the ground to the speaker anchor. It took a little more tape than I thought to get a good ground.
I then wired my lead from my LED to my lead wire I ran earlier. This is the result:
In the back I ran into a major problem. Instead of just a massive bunch of wire going out of the body and in to the door, there are plugs to get the electrical conncetions through the body and in to the wiring in the doors. My solution was to run the wire in the back but instead of into the doors I simply ran it under the rear seats. After mouting the LED to one of the anchors for the driver and passanger seats, grounding the LEDS to an unpainted area of the frame (underneath the snap on garnish piece to hide all the components) and wiring the lead into my power wire I ran, here is the result in the back:
So I'm now waiting on getting my switch which will most likely happen on Wednesday on our way up to the Botanic Gardens for our picnic unless I can persuade my brother to take a ride with me after breakfast with my Godmother on Tuesday. I also have a fuse box that I am going to wire in to the system that way if there is a problem I will know exactly which leg has the problem instead of having to pull it all out and start from scratch. LED's don't draw that much power but you never know.
Once I have it all together I'll post more pictures on how I wired in the switch, fuses etc and the final take on the project.
As much as I can't stand the congestion and noise of the city I do love it so. I love navagating the streets, riding my bike through the neighborhoods, knowing a store with everything I need is a simple ten minute walk from my doorstep-and even the noise. The sounds of the city is what I've fallen asleep to for the past 20 years even with the windows and doors closed-it is strange to sleep somewhere that doesn't have a quiet roar in the background.
I suppose all of these feelings are adolescent, and I should have been going through this two years ago instead of my Junior year in college. But that comes down to a choice I made, the choice to commute instead of move out at 18. The choice to stay and try and support my brother and family like I have for so long but yet branch out myself and have my own life-a choice that now I see is futile and near impossible. I NEED to get out, I NEED to create my own experiences and do things my way and learn all of these things. I am ready beyond belief, there is no doubt there-but I am going to miss all of this when I'm living 5 days a week in Elmhurst. Elmhurst in it's own right is a great town as well, I love walking around there, shopping there and the suburbs are really where my heart has wanted to be for a while now. Yes things are spread out, but the traffic is no where near as bad as in the city, teaching positions are often more productive in a burb with the right ingredients, and lets face it all of my friends now live out there-there's really no one left here. My brother is going to be leaving too, and as much as I love my parents to be home without him would feel very weird. Knowing that he won't be home for several months at a time while I sit and deal with the bs, the commute, and the general lone wolf syndrome I seem to have brought upon myself is something I can not do. I love my parents, but the circumstances at home have pushed me away pretty drastically right now, and they are so set in their ways I doubt things will change very much very soon. Having no kids in the house is going to rock their world as well, and I'm honestly really nervous how much not having me and my brother around is going to rock that house-I can see it shaking things up more than anything in our history as a family ever has-there will be no sounding boards, no buffers, no glue. I don't think I'm prepared to handle another fire in that house, especially not while studying and trying to get my life started and together. One thing is for sure though, extended family's bullshit will no longer be able to affect my life-not with someplace warm and safe to go to, and certainly not with Jess's warm, caring and affectionate arms to give me a way station for a while to recoupe.
The things I have seen and felt from her latley have been nothing short of amazing. She's come sooooo far on her flute in such a short time and I am SO PROUD of her. It's going to be great having her in band this fall! She continues to get more and more gorgeous each and every time she comes to the door to let me in, and adorable describes only a tiny part of how she is. All of my inhibitions, doubts, fears, weaknesses, vices, all the negative and dark inside me is quieting down. She has touched my life in so many ways and continues to help heal things that have been ripped in me from so long ago. I've said that I've never felt this way before to a lot of things and to a few people I wish I hadn't-but this time is so much different it is indescribable. She's given me so much calm inside, even my untameable temper has shut up and gone to sleep. It's nice to know I still got it just in case I need to protect her, but the demons and all the noise in the back of my head has subsided and continues to subside. My heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest, I've been able to keep focused on things I never thought I would focus on-I'm going to KICK ASS this fall :)
I could go on for hours about my Jessie, the way she makes me feel, what she does for me just being there without hidden motive (something I've never been able to believe about anyone ever before) and how she really is into me because she likes what I do for her too. I know I can be aggravating and I get pissy sometimes, but 99% of that isn't even directed or about her. All I want to do is take care of her, let her curl up someplace safe and warm, support her in everything she wants to do and lend my knowledge and ability with things that she needs help with. The balance between being a boyfriend and being overinvolved is hard, and its a fine line between the two-but with Jessie it's easy for me to see when she needs me to help and when she needs me to stand by and watch just in case something happens. Just to be there for support is something that seems to come naturally to both of us-because she doesn't even come close to smothering me either.
Even though I'm going to miss the way things are and have been, locations, people etc. The future looks bright and is exciting. It's not going to be a perfectly paved, smooth road but I really do feel like I can handle whatever comes at me, healthwise or other and there isn't a damn thing that can stop me from making my dreams a reality.
On a lighter note, my car lighting project continues to move along nicely. I thought it would be a one shot project but I should know better. I'm waiting on having the time to drive out and get a switch to power everything. My origional problems of finding a place to supply power to my lights is gone, I found an open fuse socket that has plenty of 12V power coming out of it, the only problem is it is not tied in with the ignition so the power is continuous hence putting a switch in. I either have to go to Grainger-if it's open to the public-or out to Desplaines/Mount Prospect to get a switch that will work and not look like I put a household switch in my car. Wednesday is when I plan on doing all this searching for a switch, and hopefully Wednesday night, when I get home from Jessie's, I will have this project all tied up and working like a champ :) Pictures of exactly what I did are below with descriptions.
After taking the door pannel off on both the driver's side and passanger's side, I used a drill bit that was slightly bigger than my LED to drill a hole through the top of the speaker well in a place that would give me enough room to bend the LED through the hole and anchor the mini circuit board the LED is tied in to.
I used simple electrical tape to anchor the board in place. I designed this entire system to be able to come out if I need to take my car in for repair-that way I don't void my warranty.
This is the anchor for my speaker which is the perfect ground for my LED. It's the only unpainted area of the door within reach of my light so:
I simply electrical taped the ground to the speaker anchor. It took a little more tape than I thought to get a good ground.I then wired my lead from my LED to my lead wire I ran earlier. This is the result:
In the back I ran into a major problem. Instead of just a massive bunch of wire going out of the body and in to the door, there are plugs to get the electrical conncetions through the body and in to the wiring in the doors. My solution was to run the wire in the back but instead of into the doors I simply ran it under the rear seats. After mouting the LED to one of the anchors for the driver and passanger seats, grounding the LEDS to an unpainted area of the frame (underneath the snap on garnish piece to hide all the components) and wiring the lead into my power wire I ran, here is the result in the back:
So I'm now waiting on getting my switch which will most likely happen on Wednesday on our way up to the Botanic Gardens for our picnic unless I can persuade my brother to take a ride with me after breakfast with my Godmother on Tuesday. I also have a fuse box that I am going to wire in to the system that way if there is a problem I will know exactly which leg has the problem instead of having to pull it all out and start from scratch. LED's don't draw that much power but you never know.
Once I have it all together I'll post more pictures on how I wired in the switch, fuses etc and the final take on the project.
end of line.
What the Flying F
Mainstream music has hit an all time low with the release of "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and the forced ramming of it down my throat. I refuse to turn on any radio station (satellite [which i pay for monthy] or otherwise) until this obscene and ignorant piece of trash is not bouncing around the air waves. In an age where homosexual's are having to constantly fight for their equality, for their GOD GIVEN RIGHTS mainstream America is still stupid enough to put this crap on the radio? Wait...why am I so surprised? Of course it's on the radio! Okay who did Katy Perry have to blow or sex up to get her disgusting voice on the radio. And the music video? Seriously? I'm just about ready to grab my toaster, cut the GFI plug off ot it, connect it to a car battery and get in to the bathtub. ZAP! Yea yea I know "freedom of speech" but seriously? It's one thing to excercise your freedom of speech, but another to take that freedom and use it to both mock and undermine an ever growing part of the global society. Oh and before you jump to another conclusion: I. AM. STRAIGHT. Those of you who are homosexual, please feel free in joining me with an anti-radio boycott until this shit is taken off the air. Comment or message me on here if you please too.
Okay so now that that rant is over on to business. I got all my housing stuff for this fall, and every day that goes by I seriously cannot wait that much more to get the flying hell out of this house and away from certain people. To be able to spend all kinds of time with my lovely, and be within walking distance of her place of residence has got me so excited it's hard to fall asleep sometimes. It's been a great adventure with you so far Sweet Pea, you've taught me so much abtout myself, helped me conquer some very big demons and tone down the noise of my life. I seriously cannot wait to see what life has up it's sleeve for us :)
My lights, fuses and fuse box will be arriving tomorrow, so hopefully tuesday and wednesday I'll be able to get those in and this project tied up. I'm excited to give Layla some extra flare!
Things around work seem to be slowing down considerably more and more every weekend which is bothersome, hopefully with the change of the president this economy will bonce back-although I'm positive we still havn't found a bottom yet.
I've started writing two songs and hope to finish them very soon.
that's about it, i'm going to go lift some weights before I put my fist through a wall.
end of line.
Okay so now that that rant is over on to business. I got all my housing stuff for this fall, and every day that goes by I seriously cannot wait that much more to get the flying hell out of this house and away from certain people. To be able to spend all kinds of time with my lovely, and be within walking distance of her place of residence has got me so excited it's hard to fall asleep sometimes. It's been a great adventure with you so far Sweet Pea, you've taught me so much abtout myself, helped me conquer some very big demons and tone down the noise of my life. I seriously cannot wait to see what life has up it's sleeve for us :)
My lights, fuses and fuse box will be arriving tomorrow, so hopefully tuesday and wednesday I'll be able to get those in and this project tied up. I'm excited to give Layla some extra flare!
Things around work seem to be slowing down considerably more and more every weekend which is bothersome, hopefully with the change of the president this economy will bonce back-although I'm positive we still havn't found a bottom yet.
I've started writing two songs and hope to finish them very soon.
that's about it, i'm going to go lift some weights before I put my fist through a wall.
end of line.
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