New Blog
Also, if you haven't found blog it yet
Blog Moved
I just came to check if the link is working or not. Apologies for not making it direct properly
New Blog
Also, if you haven't found blog it yet
New Blog
Also, if you haven't found blog it yet
Blog Moved
Hey all.
I recently bought my own webspace and moved my blog there
www.blog.andrewpclarke.com
Please update accordingly
I'm still going to keep my blogger account until wodpress figures out how to fix the import bug that is going on.
later
I recently bought my own webspace and moved my blog there
www.blog.andrewpclarke.com
Please update accordingly
I'm still going to keep my blogger account until wodpress figures out how to fix the import bug that is going on.
later
HEALTH UPDATE! for those who are interested
Jessie and I went to see Dr. Flamm this past Friday (the 24th of April) and we walked out with excellent news:
I WILL NOT NEED A LIVER TRANSPLANT BEFORE AGE 30 OR AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER!
He has reviewed all of my stuff after having to fight with Dr. Jacobs office to get it and my records and biopsy point to one of two things. Option # 1: My Crohns disease has moved in to my liver and is causing problems-it’s 100% treatable. Option #2: I have come down with auto immune hepatitis which is not contagious or transmittable in any way. Basically my white blood cells have picked my liver as their next target. It’s 100% treatable, with a medication Dr. Jacobs took me off of a year ago, along with a low and short dose of prednisone.
In all seriousness this is the best news/21st birthday present I could ever receive. Just knowing I won’t have to go under the knife at some point for a liver transplant has lifted such a HUGE weight off of my shoulders I cannot possibly describe the feeling in words.
Oh by the way:
HAPPY 10 MONTHS JESSIE. I LOVE YOU!
It's Been A While
Well it's been over a month since I've last posted. School has been slowly eating away at my soul and I just have not had the urge to put something up on the interwebs.
First off a health situation update:
NO CHANGE.
Well I shouldn't say that. I had records faxed to Northwestern twice and even dropped them off in person once and they somehow are still not getting to the doctor that I need to take a look at them. The same guy I'm supposed to see this coming Friday morning. My Father and I talked to an administrator at Northwestern who promised to get back to us after looking in to why my phone calls are never returned and why my documents keep getting lost and why I am not being treated like a human being. I'm going in tomorrow (Friday) to see this Doctor and gauge whether or not I'm worth his time. If not then I am moving on finally. I probably should have left Northwestern in the dust a long time ago, but based on their reputation I blindly expected much better care.. Silly me. On too of all this, our insurance company has decided that I'm not longer turning 21. Instead I'm turning 14 or some ridiculous age AND they have dropped my coverage because I am no longer a full time student. Even though I got all the paperwork in that I needed to at the beginning of the year just like I always do. This country and it's health care system are so STUPID it's amazing people even get better when they are sick.
On a much lighter note, Jessie and I finally blurted out the "L" word and things continue to move along amazingly between us. I seriously don't know what I would do without her, especially now with all of this health stuff really becoming a big problem. She keeps me calm and brings a smile to my face and helps me remember that I'm going to be okay. Honestly I lose sight of that a lot, especially latley-but she's here and taking care of me. I could not ask for a more compassionate, gorgeous and sweet companion and feel truly blessed to have her in my life.
I've also hit a point where I am questioning my faith to an extreme I have never felt before. On the one hand I'm Christian, have been my whole life and can know and believe there is some higher power that governs our daily lives. But at the same time, why has he turned away from us? Why are there children starving, people dieing of HIV AIDS, cancer and going through needless suffering? I feel as though God may have turned his back to take a long break from the world-or he just is no longer here at all. That we're all on auto pilot until he returns to punish us for deviating from his plan the last time he was here. The galaxy is a big place, maybe somewhere else needs his attention more desperately? Why create something and then just leave it be? I just don't understand, and I'm having a hard time putting my faith and my life in the hands of someone or something that seems to have turned it's back on us.
Maybe it's just a phase I'm going through, maybe not though. Only time and experience will tell.
We conducted our last band today for conducting II. Cass middle school was phenomenal and seriously sounded better and played better than many high school and even some college bands I've heard. We also invited the area's 5th grade musicians to come and sit in on our band rehearsal last night, and they too were just amazing kids and amazing musicians at such a young age. It just re-affirms my want to teach out here in the suburbs, stay away from the city, and make sure my children have these kinds of opportunities. Even some of the "poor" towns and suburbs have got better school and music programs than CPS ever will. It makes me sad to think such a great city is at such a loss when it comes to education.
I've also hit a point in the year where I just don't feel like I can do this. Like I can be a great teacher, or any kind of teacher for that matter. That I suck so horribly at being a musician I should just quit and walk away and do everybody a favor. I know I can't and I know I've made huge leaps since being in college, but I still feel so inferior to my peers.
maybe more to come later
First off a health situation update:
NO CHANGE.
Well I shouldn't say that. I had records faxed to Northwestern twice and even dropped them off in person once and they somehow are still not getting to the doctor that I need to take a look at them. The same guy I'm supposed to see this coming Friday morning. My Father and I talked to an administrator at Northwestern who promised to get back to us after looking in to why my phone calls are never returned and why my documents keep getting lost and why I am not being treated like a human being. I'm going in tomorrow (Friday) to see this Doctor and gauge whether or not I'm worth his time. If not then I am moving on finally. I probably should have left Northwestern in the dust a long time ago, but based on their reputation I blindly expected much better care.. Silly me. On too of all this, our insurance company has decided that I'm not longer turning 21. Instead I'm turning 14 or some ridiculous age AND they have dropped my coverage because I am no longer a full time student. Even though I got all the paperwork in that I needed to at the beginning of the year just like I always do. This country and it's health care system are so STUPID it's amazing people even get better when they are sick.
On a much lighter note, Jessie and I finally blurted out the "L" word and things continue to move along amazingly between us. I seriously don't know what I would do without her, especially now with all of this health stuff really becoming a big problem. She keeps me calm and brings a smile to my face and helps me remember that I'm going to be okay. Honestly I lose sight of that a lot, especially latley-but she's here and taking care of me. I could not ask for a more compassionate, gorgeous and sweet companion and feel truly blessed to have her in my life.
I've also hit a point where I am questioning my faith to an extreme I have never felt before. On the one hand I'm Christian, have been my whole life and can know and believe there is some higher power that governs our daily lives. But at the same time, why has he turned away from us? Why are there children starving, people dieing of HIV AIDS, cancer and going through needless suffering? I feel as though God may have turned his back to take a long break from the world-or he just is no longer here at all. That we're all on auto pilot until he returns to punish us for deviating from his plan the last time he was here. The galaxy is a big place, maybe somewhere else needs his attention more desperately? Why create something and then just leave it be? I just don't understand, and I'm having a hard time putting my faith and my life in the hands of someone or something that seems to have turned it's back on us.
Maybe it's just a phase I'm going through, maybe not though. Only time and experience will tell.
We conducted our last band today for conducting II. Cass middle school was phenomenal and seriously sounded better and played better than many high school and even some college bands I've heard. We also invited the area's 5th grade musicians to come and sit in on our band rehearsal last night, and they too were just amazing kids and amazing musicians at such a young age. It just re-affirms my want to teach out here in the suburbs, stay away from the city, and make sure my children have these kinds of opportunities. Even some of the "poor" towns and suburbs have got better school and music programs than CPS ever will. It makes me sad to think such a great city is at such a loss when it comes to education.
I've also hit a point in the year where I just don't feel like I can do this. Like I can be a great teacher, or any kind of teacher for that matter. That I suck so horribly at being a musician I should just quit and walk away and do everybody a favor. I know I can't and I know I've made huge leaps since being in college, but I still feel so inferior to my peers.
maybe more to come later
It's Been A While
One week out from spring break, and it cannot come any faster. Only two more days of conducting left having to waste time listening to Sue "teach". Then it's back to Professor Grimes and back to real learning and real conducting and real music. I'm so glad I wasted the past 7 or so weeks.....
My health situation continues not to change in any way shape or form and I'm done caring in all honestly. This doesn't seem to be that big of a problem to anyone in the medical field. In fact I was faxed someone's mammogram reports along with my records. And not just one or two, when I say reports I mean reports. At least 4 plus. Totally incompetent and ridiculous to say the least. I'm calling Monday, and then I'm done if I don't have answers and or results. I'm beyond pissed off.
Band tour this year was awesome in it's own right. Before going to bed I felt like it had been a little less exciting than last year, but looking back now it was still a good time with good friends. It's been way too long since I've hung out with the guys old and new.
Housing situations have been straightened out and I'm living with my Buddy Chris next year in a campus house with two other guys. I consider Chris one of my best friends, and I'm actually looking forward to the situation next year, and not having to worry about my stuff disappearing or being used by random people.
More to come later...possibly
My health situation continues not to change in any way shape or form and I'm done caring in all honestly. This doesn't seem to be that big of a problem to anyone in the medical field. In fact I was faxed someone's mammogram reports along with my records. And not just one or two, when I say reports I mean reports. At least 4 plus. Totally incompetent and ridiculous to say the least. I'm calling Monday, and then I'm done if I don't have answers and or results. I'm beyond pissed off.
Band tour this year was awesome in it's own right. Before going to bed I felt like it had been a little less exciting than last year, but looking back now it was still a good time with good friends. It's been way too long since I've hung out with the guys old and new.
Housing situations have been straightened out and I'm living with my Buddy Chris next year in a campus house with two other guys. I consider Chris one of my best friends, and I'm actually looking forward to the situation next year, and not having to worry about my stuff disappearing or being used by random people.
More to come later...possibly
What College Ought to Be
The events of the past four weeks, and lets face it, the past six semesters have caused me to feel increasing disappointed in my college choice. The massive amount of time and money I feel like I'm wasting here is causing me to wish I had gone to Vandercook or Northeastern. But no, I was "guaranteed" and "good education here at Elmhurst College, what college ought to be."
Lets start at the beginning with the administrative end of this institution, or lack there of. As an incoming freshmen I, and my mother, were both told that they would help us make sure my account was in good standing all the time-and if there was a problem I would be notified in enough time to rectify the problem before I was either charged the 1% late fee or not allowed to register for classes or attend class all together. Low and behold my spring semester of my Freshmen year I received a statement saying I owed nothing on my account and being the nieve Freshmen I was did not check in to it; figuring that the college knew what they were doing and if there was indeed a problem they would tell me about it. It did seem a little strange to me so I went in to check it out the last day we were allowed to make payments before our enrollment was revoked and I found out I owed the enitre semester's tuition. I had to borrow emergency money from my parents in order to stay at Elmhurst-that should have been my first clue. Now I realize that I'm older and should be able to handle my responsibilites-and I definitley can-this must have been one of life's lessons on you can't trust anyone but yourself to take care of business no matter how important it is. There are people in my life I know I can count on to help me when I need it, none of them work in the administrative areas of my school.
Lesson number 2: Adjunct teachers and teachers obviously less qualified than I to be teaching at this college.
It all started with English 106, the class that was supposed to be a composition II class but it ended up being a service project helping people who contracted AIDS. NOT what I signed up for and definitley an uncomfortable semester for me personally for reasons I would rather not get in to on this post. I signed up for an ENGLISH COMPOSITION class....wait a minute....why are we driving in to wheaton to volunteer time I don't have to sit and chat with people who have AIDS? Now I know this might sound harsh and insensitive on my part, and I don't have anything against these people in any way, I just did not have the time to do this so called "service" project when I should have been practicing or focusing on my MUSIC EDUCATION degree.
Sophomre year wasn't bad as far as getting nothing out of my classes, aside from the religious studies class I had to take so lets move on ->
Junior Year, our current year:
Fall semester I had a psychology teach who sat across from me at her desk and told me and I quote "I honestly don't care about this class, but I expect you to give me 100% of your time and attention" .... Strike 2 Elmhurst College. Why did you hire this woman?
Current semester, Spring semester:
So far, week three has been both a nightmare and a lot of fun all at the same time. I have to admit that 90% of my teachers this semester make me feel like I'm right where I should be and are not wasting my time. However, in conducting, I feel like the two hours a week we spend in there right now is not only a waste of time but is also killing my brain cells slowly and painfully. The warmup exercises we do has had no benefit to my conducting education whatsoever. Lets not forget, the first day of class I was read the table of contents.....by my "professor"....... I'm holding that against her right now until-yes I AM. On top of that she brought in someone to teach basically a crash course in music history 1 which I also did not get anything out of whatsoever. What college ought to be huh? For those of you who are indeed Sue fans I apologize if this struck a nerve-I just fail to see how she of any benefit to my education here. We got more out of Professor Grimes the first week than we have in three out of Sue.
Lets start at the beginning with the administrative end of this institution, or lack there of. As an incoming freshmen I, and my mother, were both told that they would help us make sure my account was in good standing all the time-and if there was a problem I would be notified in enough time to rectify the problem before I was either charged the 1% late fee or not allowed to register for classes or attend class all together. Low and behold my spring semester of my Freshmen year I received a statement saying I owed nothing on my account and being the nieve Freshmen I was did not check in to it; figuring that the college knew what they were doing and if there was indeed a problem they would tell me about it. It did seem a little strange to me so I went in to check it out the last day we were allowed to make payments before our enrollment was revoked and I found out I owed the enitre semester's tuition. I had to borrow emergency money from my parents in order to stay at Elmhurst-that should have been my first clue. Now I realize that I'm older and should be able to handle my responsibilites-and I definitley can-this must have been one of life's lessons on you can't trust anyone but yourself to take care of business no matter how important it is. There are people in my life I know I can count on to help me when I need it, none of them work in the administrative areas of my school.
Lesson number 2: Adjunct teachers and teachers obviously less qualified than I to be teaching at this college.
It all started with English 106, the class that was supposed to be a composition II class but it ended up being a service project helping people who contracted AIDS. NOT what I signed up for and definitley an uncomfortable semester for me personally for reasons I would rather not get in to on this post. I signed up for an ENGLISH COMPOSITION class....wait a minute....why are we driving in to wheaton to volunteer time I don't have to sit and chat with people who have AIDS? Now I know this might sound harsh and insensitive on my part, and I don't have anything against these people in any way, I just did not have the time to do this so called "service" project when I should have been practicing or focusing on my MUSIC EDUCATION degree.
Sophomre year wasn't bad as far as getting nothing out of my classes, aside from the religious studies class I had to take so lets move on ->
Junior Year, our current year:
Fall semester I had a psychology teach who sat across from me at her desk and told me and I quote "I honestly don't care about this class, but I expect you to give me 100% of your time and attention" .... Strike 2 Elmhurst College. Why did you hire this woman?
Current semester, Spring semester:
So far, week three has been both a nightmare and a lot of fun all at the same time. I have to admit that 90% of my teachers this semester make me feel like I'm right where I should be and are not wasting my time. However, in conducting, I feel like the two hours a week we spend in there right now is not only a waste of time but is also killing my brain cells slowly and painfully. The warmup exercises we do has had no benefit to my conducting education whatsoever. Lets not forget, the first day of class I was read the table of contents.....by my "professor"....... I'm holding that against her right now until-yes I AM. On top of that she brought in someone to teach basically a crash course in music history 1 which I also did not get anything out of whatsoever. What college ought to be huh? For those of you who are indeed Sue fans I apologize if this struck a nerve-I just fail to see how she of any benefit to my education here. We got more out of Professor Grimes the first week than we have in three out of Sue.
I'm coming up with solutions and do not have them all compiled yet. When I do they will be posted.
I also talked with my Doc yet again today and still no word from the other Doctor because apparently THEY keep losing my records somehow. One of the two places is lying to me and it's pissing me off to no end. So now tomorrow I have to take a jet up to the North Shore to pick up my records myself and then take the Metra in to the city on Monday to drop this crap off in person. I'm just about ready to say forget my liver, forget my health problems and pretend like they don't exist. I am officially beyond the end of my patience rope, way beyond it.
End of line.
Week Two Down, Happy Valentine's Day Dearest
This week went much better than the first week of classes. At least one call per day from Dr. Jacobs with several different reasons as to why my liver is messed up really freaked me out and had me thinking down that dark road again. The road I thought I left behind me. After a year now of not knowing what is wrong with my liver, I have to admit it's starting to get the better of me. I know many of you are aware of just my recent liver problem (high liver enzymes) but this actually started about a year ago with a call from my original G.I. Doc saying she didn't know what was wrong with me and that I should see Dr. Jacobs because he specializes in liver problems.
Turns out that it was Dr. Jacobs office that has been dropping the ball. After Dr. Jacobs insisting that my records were faxed to Dr. Flamm and talking with confidence that he would hear back from Dr. Flamm, I got a call during music history Friday from Dr. Flamm's head nurse saying she has no record of a fax from Dr. Jacobs office at all.... Thanks to two of my good friends (friends I definitely do not see enough of) I have other options, and I think it may be time to say good bye to Dr. Jacobs and start getting a viable diagnosis that doesn't take a year. The only good news I have to report as far as my health is that I'm still able to stand, and stand strong and I'm tapering off the prednisone slowly but surely.
I am so excited for tonight! I have this very cheesy, very small, hopefully romantic plan for dinner with the Dearest tonight. I'll provide more details later, because I know she reads this and I don't want to give her any more hints :P
But seriously, a year ago today is when Jessie and I met in the Frick Center at school and started talking as friends. From that day I knew she would change my life drastically, and she has in more ways than her or anyone will ever know. She's helped me discover a strength inside of me I never knew was there, and all she does is listen to me when I need to bitch and she's herself-even if she is a little nuts. No one has ever made me smile or laugh as much as she does, and certainly I've never felt more supported outside of my family and Guy friends (Eric, Tommy, Matt R. ) So Sweet Pea: I really hope you enjoy your gifts and your dins tonight, I know I am definitely going to enjoy your company and watching the look of happiness and suprise on your face tonight.
I think that's what Valentine's day is all about. Yes it's a "hallmark holiday" but the spirit in it, if you can find it, makes it so much more. I've found that it's a day to celebrate having her in my life, more so than I do on a normal day. Gifts and a meal and some cuddling on the couch tonight somehow has an increadible luster to it that goes beyond the corporate push that this Holiday embodies outside of my head. She's one in a million for sure, and I think one day a year to buy her pretty things and feed her is only a small portion of what I can/should be doing to show her how much she means to me. No you don't necessarily need things bought with money to prove that, but if done right they can be one of the many ways to make it tangible.
Turns out that it was Dr. Jacobs office that has been dropping the ball. After Dr. Jacobs insisting that my records were faxed to Dr. Flamm and talking with confidence that he would hear back from Dr. Flamm, I got a call during music history Friday from Dr. Flamm's head nurse saying she has no record of a fax from Dr. Jacobs office at all.... Thanks to two of my good friends (friends I definitely do not see enough of) I have other options, and I think it may be time to say good bye to Dr. Jacobs and start getting a viable diagnosis that doesn't take a year. The only good news I have to report as far as my health is that I'm still able to stand, and stand strong and I'm tapering off the prednisone slowly but surely.
I am so excited for tonight! I have this very cheesy, very small, hopefully romantic plan for dinner with the Dearest tonight. I'll provide more details later, because I know she reads this and I don't want to give her any more hints :P
But seriously, a year ago today is when Jessie and I met in the Frick Center at school and started talking as friends. From that day I knew she would change my life drastically, and she has in more ways than her or anyone will ever know. She's helped me discover a strength inside of me I never knew was there, and all she does is listen to me when I need to bitch and she's herself-even if she is a little nuts. No one has ever made me smile or laugh as much as she does, and certainly I've never felt more supported outside of my family and Guy friends (Eric, Tommy, Matt R. ) So Sweet Pea: I really hope you enjoy your gifts and your dins tonight, I know I am definitely going to enjoy your company and watching the look of happiness and suprise on your face tonight.
I think that's what Valentine's day is all about. Yes it's a "hallmark holiday" but the spirit in it, if you can find it, makes it so much more. I've found that it's a day to celebrate having her in my life, more so than I do on a normal day. Gifts and a meal and some cuddling on the couch tonight somehow has an increadible luster to it that goes beyond the corporate push that this Holiday embodies outside of my head. She's one in a million for sure, and I think one day a year to buy her pretty things and feed her is only a small portion of what I can/should be doing to show her how much she means to me. No you don't necessarily need things bought with money to prove that, but if done right they can be one of the many ways to make it tangible.
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