Well Spring 2008 is officially over, I've got most of my grades and there is no more class to attend. I still have a lingering feeling of being overwhelmed with things to do even though when I stop to think for a second I know there's nothing; I kinda like the feeling of realizing all I have are semi-lazy days ahead of me for a good two months.
I can't honestly say I learned all that much academically this semester. Granted I learned how to play violin, viola, cello and upright bass-but honestly string instruments aside from their pickyness I find to be extremely easy to get the basics and even some advanced things down with very little practice time involved. I don't think I ever seriously got out one of the instruments and sat down to practice. Ever. String instruments have their own quirks, shortcomings, advantages, and all things in between-just like every other instrument out there. Quite honestly I find some of my Clarinet technique type things to be far more challenging than a string instrument. So what does that mean? That I'm a horrible Clarinet player and better at stringed instruments? Or that string instruments are just not that terribly hard? I'm hoping for option two, cause I've been playing clarinet for most of my life.
Which brings me to the list of things I've learned this year:
1. True friends have an amazing way of proving themselves to you, especially in a pinch. Those that don't truly care and are only around you for their own personal reasons get weeded out when faced with a drastic life situation. To those of you who were there to keep me cool and snap me back and keep me sane THANK YOU. Especially you sweet pea, like you said in your letter today: I really don't know where I would be without you.
2. Your family is your family for better or worse and to give up on them would be wrong-you only get one. However, it's okay to want space and keep your distance-especially if it's to protect yourself and your sanity.
3. Overall, the individual classes you take really don't matter that much in the grand scheme of a degree. Get through the stupid classes so that you are awarded that piece of paper that says "I demand a good salary and benefits and YOU have no choice in the matter"
4. Know what you want, if you don't know take time to slow down and figure it out.
5. NO ONE is worth being abused for. If all you get is a negative picture when with said person BAIL OUT. It's not doing either of you any good and just continues a cycle that should have been stopped a LONG TIME AGO.
6. No matter how attracted you are to a person despite their flaws and shortcoming, always make sure that said persons flaws and shortcomings are not going to destroy your life.
7. There really is such a thing as a mature, grounded, caring, loving, well grounded relationship and it CAN be achieved in the opposite sex despite what I've encountered before and the example I have at home. You both have to work at it though, but when it's with the right person the work becomes a natural course of action you don't even think about. It becomes less work and more something that just happens out of instinct.
8. Prayers really do get answered, guidance is truly given whether by God or someone or something else-but you have to open your eyes and ears and be acceptive of the answers and guidance otherwise you will be left cold and alone and feeling abandoned.
9. ANGELS DO EXIST
10. If ever there is a time in your life you would rather just end it all and give up, remember you are not just giving up on YOUR life but on the lives of the people you love and care for and vice versa. No matter how hard life gets, abandoning the people in your life is the most selfish and evil thing you could possibly do to a person you love. Carry on, it gets better-there are not ALWAYS trains sometimes there really is light at the end.
11. It's okay to say and know and feel that you need someone in your life in order to make it not only easier but more complete, more substantial. To be your compass and help hold you up in times of weakness.
12. The shitty things and relationships you go through. All the heart ache, pain, sleepless nights and rough times become worth it in the end. She comes bursting in to your life when you have given up all hope at your darkest hour and have just accepted that things will never change. When that point is reached, she comes in and turns your world upside down, shakes your heart loose of all it's despair and helps mend the broken bones so that you can stand on your own two feet, grab her hand, and weather the storms for her.
13. Jessica: You are seriously in my top 10 list of precious people in my life. You've shown me how to stand up and be a man, helped me take care of things I never thought I would ever shake, make me feel more alive and together than I ever thought possible, you've helped mend my broken bones, healed my wounds, and given my heart safe hands to rest in and feel loved. Thank you for all the patience, time, understanding, love, compassion and true caring you've shown me. You are one in a million bajillion sweet pea, and I seriously have the bestest feeling about us. I never want to leave your side. Ever. And I plan on sticking to you like glue for as long as you'll have me-especially if it's forever and a day :D
14. Finally, the most important things in your life are those that are consistently doing you good. Whether it be friends, family, school, a job, exercise or whatever. If it's not doing you good, then you're doing no good sticking with it. Cycles need to be broken, things need to change, the future of the planet depends on it.
There may be more, but I'll post them later.
Brookfield zoo tomorrow! WOOT :D! I am SO EXCITED!
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